Somewhere along the line his awkwardness and uncertainty fades, overcome by Jedao's easy responsiveness, his undeniable eagerness and certainty. The feel of Jedao's body opening for him like this is the most amazing thing he's ever experienced, the way that tight ring of muscle eases gradually for the intrusion, the way he goes tense and shuddering and then lax every time Fives brushes at his prostate with thick, nimble fingers.
It's absolutely perfect and completely overwhelming, and Fives can't stop himself from rocking against Jedao's hip, quick, urgent little strokes that leave slick trails of rapidly cooling precome smeared along Jedao's skin. He's starting to worry he isn't going to least even long enough to get his dick in Jedao, let alone long enough to make him come, but even the dread of that particular humiliation creeping into the periphery of his thoughts isn't enough to keep him still.
"Ah... fuck-" He nips at Jedao's bottom lip, then the sharp line of his jaw, shivering at the rasp of stubble against his lips, the slick-hot drag of his cock along Jedao's flank, the sweet grip of Jedao's body at his fingers. "The way... the way you fucking feel."
"I feel amazing," Jedao says, half crooned confession, half terribly smug pun, and then he giggles at his own joke, nuzzling Fives' cheek in return. He catches Fives' lip with his teeth, sucks on it for a moment, lets it drag slowly out of his bite. Fives' cock against his hip feels stunningly good, the heft and heat and weight of it a constant delicious reminder of what's next; Jedao is stunned.
"Let me - let me up, I should be on my knees for three, and that should do it -" Fives is big, but he's big all over, and that many fingers will stretch Jedao wonderfully wide; his breath stutters imagining it, and soon, soon - "Fuck, I want you so badly."
This time Fives doesn't misinterpret the humor, and his eyes squeeze shut as he laughs quietly but helplessly at Jedao's ridiculous joke. "Yeah... yeah, you do," he agrees warmly once Jedao releases his lip.
He's about to press in for another kiss when Jedao makes his announcement and he stills, quivering at the thought. Jedao up on his knees for him, stretched wide and wet and ready: he has to reach down to squeeze himself again, groaning and shifting and panting with almost desperate want.
"Yeah-" It's a hoarse rasp, and it takes him a moment longer to release himself and shift back up onto his knees, looming over Jedao and shifting his attention to where his fingers are pressed into him. "Yeah, just-" He eases them free, biting his lip at the way it feels like Jedao's body is clutching at them, trying not to imagine what that will feel like around his cock.
He makes a low, soft, aching noise, halfway between a groan and a whimper, as if to corroborate Fives' suspicions. Jedao feels empty now, deserted, incomplete, and he scrambles shakily to get himself turned over, the muscles shifting in his back and shoulders as he gets his arms under him, weight shifting as he gets his knees spread apart.
"Put - put your other hand on my back," he instructs, some weird bad instinct tweaking a little at knowing Fives is behind him and not seeing him, the shapes of their shadows tangled unrecognizably between the plain overhead lights and the rumpled mounds and valleys of the sheets. He just needs - more touch, a clear point of reference, a way to place Fives apart from what Fives is doing to him.
It's all Fives can do not to simply blanket himself over Jedao's back the moment he settles, press against all that glorious, warm skin and shifting muscle. He wants to feel it against him almost desperately. But he wants, holding himself in a brutally quelling grip, until Jedao's settled, gaze roving over his wiry frame and mouth almost watering, and then reaches out to splay one hand at the small of his back as instructed.
He's so damn beautiful, and he wants to tell him so but it feels like it would be ridiculous, too much, but he does let himself appreciate. The way Jedao's dick and balls hang heavy between his legs, dark and flushed and perfect, the dip at the hollow of his back and the way the light sheen of sweat on his skin highlights his muscles. He's not bulky, could maybe do with putting on a few pounds, even, but he's all slim muscle and taut skin and beautifully proportioned.
Fives leans in to press his mouth to the curve of one ass cheek, lets his tongue drag over the skin before he nips lightly, just hard enough to leave a rapidly fading imprint of his teeth. At the same time he reaches between Jedao's legs with his other hand, caresses his balls, hefting their weight and groaning in pleasure, hips twitching so his cock drags along Jedao's flank again. He's panting into Jedao's skin as he drags his fingers back from there, along the smooth, delicate skin behind his balls, circles his thumb around his opening and groans again at the feel of it fluttering at his touch.
"Fuck," he rasps, and pulls both hands away for a moment, though he keeps his mouth pressed to Jedao's skin as he reaches blindly for the KY where he'd dropped it last. "Need more... more slick." He's not going to fuck this up now, but it only takes a moment to snap it open, smear his fingers again, drop the tube, and then both his hands are back. Big fingers circling Jedao's hole again, pulling gently at the rim.
"So fucking perfect," he murmurs, ragged and absolutely involuntary. "Breathe for me," he adds, and then presses three fingers slowly, steadily, against the fluttering resistance of Jedao's entrance, while his other hand strokes almost jerkily along Jedao's lower back and Fives pants for breath, clings desperately to some kind of restraint, as he kneels up again to watch his fingers slipping inexorably into Jedao's body.
He makes a sharp, surprised little noise at the bite, something that in a higher-pitched voice would possibly qualify as a squeak, but it tumbles into a low groan as he rocks his hips back against Fives' thumb, aching for more.
You're so sweet, he'd said before, all fondness, but he's grateful for it now, for more thoughtfulness than he really expected from a teenager, even one as gracious and intelligent as Fives has proved in the last few days. Jedao tries to take the reminder to heart. He knows to breathe but it's easy to forget, with how wound up he is, with how long it's been and how hard it is to think. He breathes slow and shallow, long pulls between his teeth like a silk scarf pulled through a ring.
The sound he makes when Fives' fingers work in sounds crushed out of him, wrecked and oozing like oil from an olive press. He has to keep breathing, and he tries, even though it feels like he can't manage anything except keeping his elbows locked as he shudders. The stretch feels impossible, unbearable, even though he's so slick and keyed up that it barely hurts at all, smolders instead of burns, strains in the best way. He hangs his head, pants hard, entirely in his body and of his body, rocks so shallowly, torn between his desperation to adjust and the always-too-much intensity of being pried open.
And then, like a switch flipping somewhere between the nodes of his spine, his body adjusts, accepts, needs more.
Fives jerks helplessly against Jedao when he makes those noises, like the sound goes right to his balls and pulls, and he leaves a series of glistening trails of pre-come along Jedao's skin with every jerky, uncoordinated little thrust. It's hard to remember he needs to go slow, needs to make this good--he doesn't want Jedao to have reason to regret this--when almost all he can think of at this point is how perfect and hot and tight Jedao will feel around his cock when he finally pushes in. How much he wants to slide home and then pound into him, hard and fast and relentless.
His whole body's trembling slightly, sweat slicking his skin and trickling down between his pecks and the hollows of his abs, pooling at the small of his back where he's bent forward just enough to let it gather. His whole world feels like it's been focused down to nothing but want and the heat of Jedao's body clenching around his fingers, and he wants to ask is this enough? and please? and he's about to. Trying to find the words, and the voice to speak them in, when Jedao beats him to the punch.
"Yes," he manages to croak, and, "fuck," and, "please." Slurred and ragged and barely audible as he pulls his fingers free with less care than he should have used, scrambles almost desperately to position himself behind Jedao. He'd imagined this differently, Jedao on his back so he could lean over him, lick into his mouth and swallow his sounds as he pressed into him, but all he cares about right now is getting into him, anyway he can.
He barely has the presence of mind to grab the KY again, to squeeze out an almost ludicrous amount and stroke it over his cock with a hiss that turns into a groan, jerking into his own loose fist. "God... fuck... wanna fuck you... wanna be in you-" It's rambling and disjointed, pushed out on short, panting breaths as he kneels behind Jedao, one big hand on his hip, gripping him, and the other on his own cock, guiding himself to Jedao's entrance, and there's no way to describe the sound he makes as he starts to push the head of his cock against Jedao's grasping hole as anything but a whimper.
Jedao picked the position on purpose; partly because it's simple, because it gives Fives easy leverage to slam into him just the way he wants, but most of all because he doesn't want anyone looking at his face right now. Jedao lives his life with his entire mind neatly patterned on the confidential compartments of military information he works with, volatile truths kept side by side in rigidly separate realms, with access carefully controlled. He's let Fives see him vulnerable, sensual, needy and shameless, but this is something else again. Destroy after reading, Jedao thinks, as if he could peel his face off like a carbon copy, shred it, and start again after with a blank one. Or whatever tier would be above for your eyes only. No eyes. He can close his own eyes and not make any difference, not be at a disadvantage. He can let his guard all the way down, with no one in front of him to see.
He whines when Fives' fingers withdraw, less for the roughness of it than the simple necessity, swallows haplessly as he waits for Fives to slick himself, the few seconds of emptiness feeling interminable, the faint wet noises sending shivers up his slightly protruding spine.
"Yeah, please, come on - you did so good, I can take it," he promises, equally disjointed, sometimes talking over Fives and sometimes not. He sucks in air, a low visceral gasp, when Fives' cockhead breaches into him, pops in easily past his well-stretched rim. He bites his own lip again, hard, struggling not to curse because he wants to hear that whimper, savors it almost as much as the thick insistent pressure filling him up.
He pushes back, just a little, takes Fives a little deeper, and it's perfect, and it isn't nearly enough. "Move, baby, give it to me, fuck me, you feel so good -"
It's just as amazing as he'd imagined--tight, hot, velvety and grasping--and he works his way in with short, jerky thrusts, each one punching the breath out of him in strangled gasps and groans and whimpers. He feels lightheaded and completely overwhelmed, like his skin is too small to contain the almost frantic need buzzing beneath it.
"Fuck." He's holding Jedao's hips almost bruise tight, pulling him back against him as he pushes in, feels Jedao pushing back with him, his body open for him until he's balls deep. "So t-tight. Fucking, fucking perfect." His voice is ragged and almost broken, and he folds over Jedao's back to press them, trembling, into the sweat-damp skin at the back of his neck.
He's afraid if he isn't careful, if he doesn't pause now and take a breath, he's going to go off like a damn rocket in no time flat. But then Jedao's asking--almost begging--him to move, and there's no way he can resist that demand, no way he can do anything but tighten his grip, slide part way out, and then slam back in, hard and desperate.
Fives' grip on his hipbones is tight enough to hurt, and he hopes it does bruise, little hidden fingerprint dapples he can tap on tomorrow.
"Yes - yes - yes -" Jedao gasps, chants, hisses, patching in endless breathless sibilants so that he doesn't let himself shout. The raw strength of the thrust and vicious speed smash through him like a tidal wave. Fives' cock forces him open, deeper than his fingers could reach, heavy and hot and relentless, and Jedao could sob with how good it feels, how much it feels, like he could shake apart like a stone building in an earthquake, lose chunks of himself and be lighter for it.
There's no gradual build-up, no starting slow and working his way up to faster and harder; it's zero to sixty so fast there's no perceptible change in gears along the way, and Fives can hardly breathe for how good it feels, how tight and hot and perfect. He could dial it back if Jedao asked, would stop in a heartbeat and pull himself away if Jedao wanted it, but in the face of Jedao's low-voiced, breathless encouragement all Fives can do, all he can think of, is fuck Jedao as hard and as fast and as desperate as he can.
The room is filled with the quiet sounds of their panting breaths and muttered pleas and encouragements and curses, the slap of skin, the slick sounds of flesh on flesh. Fives frees one hand from Jedao's hip and slides it up his back, fingers tracing the knobs of his spine, smearing the sweat on his skin, then latches onto his shoulder for better leverage. Bends a little to change the angle and fucks into Jedao hard and deep, his strokes almost punishing.
He can feel the heat in his belly coiling tight, his balls pulling up, the buzz under his skin spreading like sheet lightning, and he knows he's not going to last. Knows he should slow or stop or something to keep from embarrassing himself. But it's so fucking good and he's wanted it for so long, and all he can do is make quiet, desperate noises of want as he quickens his pace further and bends over Jedao's back, fumbling to reach beneath him and try to get a hold on his cock. Hope that there's better than a snowball's chance in hell that he can bring him along with him as he tips over the edge.
As soon as Fives has a recognizable rhythm - fast, grueling, perfect - Jedao is rocking back to meet him, the muscles in his arms shaking as he takes Fives' cock. When Fives shifts his angle Jedao jerks a little, makes a low garbled groaning noise churned out of him as he manages to swallow a scream.
The weight, the heat, the gorgeous muscled lines of Fives' chest against his back are so distracting that it takes Jedao a second to realize that Fives is reaching for him to jerk him off, an inference that uses up his last remaining speck of coherent thought, and it doesn't occur to him why, obviously, Fives would want him to come. Jedao could go now, easily, could have gotten off ten minutes ago while Fives was fingering him, with the right touch on his cock and a willingness to let go, but he didn't want to come then, and he still doesn't now. He's too caught up in how amazing it feels to get fucked, how everything about Fives pounding him is exactly what he's wanted, how desperately he doesn't want it to end yet.
He shudders onto one buckling arm, trying to get his hand in Fives' way with barely any coordination, clenches down reflexively as he fights to hold back his own orgasm.
Fives almost sobs in frustration as Jedao bats his hand away, presses his forehead into the sweat-slick skin between Jedao's shoulder blades and wills himself to slow down or stop, to give himself a break, to do something to stop the rocketing build towards release. But then Jedao's clenching tight around him, completely unexpected and so fucking amazing amazing it punches his breath right out of him, wipes away any last scrap of coherent thought and he slams back into Jedao hard, only deeply ingrained fear and paranoia keeping him mostly quiet as he bites his lip hard enough to bleed and comes, shaking, in long, almost agonizing pulses.
Jedao feels like a chorus, or a cacophony, thinks yes and no, and oh fuck, I'm an idiot, and but we just and please all in the same moment. Fives' last desperate merciless stroke feels fucking incredible, rattles him from his hips to his jaw bone, and he has to bite down hastily on his own hand to keep quiet himself, tension wound too tight all through him to do anything but clutch his fist in the sheets and keep squeezing around Fives' cock.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he mutters, slurred and only halfway to coherency even once it feels safe to let himself speak again, because it's the only word that feels versatile enough for his elation and frustration and rueful awareness that he really should have known this would happen.
Fives jerks and shudders helplessly through his orgasm, barely even breathing as the whole world fades to nothing but Jedao's body beneath him and the heat spreading under his skin, setting every nerve ablaze. He's almost sobbing with the intensity of it, and his hips work in small, disjointed circles against Jedao's ass as it finally starts to trail off into aftershocks.
It's so fucking good, so perfect, and he mouths almost lazily at Jedao's back, the taste of sweat mingling with the blood in his mouth as his world slowly expands again, to encompass more than Jedao's body beneath and around him and the sweet, heavy lethargy that's starting to weight him down after two god damn amazing orgasms in short order. It's only then that he registers Jedao's continued buzzing tension, the slurred obscenities, the fact he'd never managed to so much as get a hand on his cock, and he stiffens as the implications start to seep through the fog that feels like it's shrouding his brain.
He shudders once, and sucks in a sharp, pained breath. He doesn't even know what to say, how to apologize for the clearly massive disappointment he's made of himself. It's god damn humiliating, and he curls down against Jedao's back like he's trying to hide there.
Jedao makes a soft noise, more or less ooof, and gets his other hand back underneath him before he collapses - onto his elbows, or entirely. He drags in a couple more ragged, seesawing breaths, trying to get his thoughts into some semblance of a line so he can make them into words.
"Darling, I - fuck, that was - amazing, really," and it was, which is why he'd gotten so greedy, forgotten to think about who he was with or pay attention to all the signs of how close Fives was, "But I cannot take your weight right now, I think my bones are made of melting butter, shift over."
Fives huffs, a bitter, not quite laugh. He knows exactly how not amazing it was, but of course Jedao's not going to be an apple about it. Of course he's going to pretend Fives wasn't just a massive disappointed.
He forces himself to push himself up at Jedao's warning, much as he'd prefer to stay where he is and pretend he can hide from his embarrassment. "Sorry," he croaks, and swallows convulsively, the copper teams if blood bright on his tongue. "I- I can blow you?" he adds hesitantly, not sure if that's the right consolation prize to offer, but he's not feeling secure or confident enough right now to offer to bottom for the first time right now.
Jedao grunts quietly, a half-strangled hnnnggh, clenches briefly again. He's - he's thinking about it.
...although he should be thinking about the guilt and misery in Fives' voice, poor kid. Jesus. Jedao definitely doesn't want to turn him down, not right now, even though he isn't sure he wants to accept, either.
"...I'm thinking about it," he murmurs, because sometimes honesty can cover a multitude of sins, and lets his persistent lust seep into his voice. Fuck, he can feel his own pulse in his cock right now, and it would be so easy to finish off, and it wouldn't be bad, even if it wasn't exactly what he wanted. But he can hear how hard Fives would take it, too young for mishaps and re-adjustments to feel like the way of the world, instead of the end of it. At least in terms of sex.
"Come around where I can hold you? Please." Hiding his face at peak moments is all well and good, but he wants Fives to be able to see his face for this, wants to be able to kiss him, offer some more effective reassurance and comfort than he's managed so far.
Fuck. Fives rocks back onto his haunches, shoulders hunched and hands clenching uselessly against his thighs. He should probably collect his clothes and get the hell out now, he can't believe he fucked everything up so badly.
His shoulders hunch even further at Jedao's murmur, because that's not exactly an encouraging response, and he's about to slide off the bed and find his underwear when Jedao speaks again.
Oh... maybe it's not so bad, then? Maybe. He hesitates for a moment, then clambers over Jedao and stretches out in front of him, carefully not looking at his face.
Jedao gingerly lets himself collapse, limbs weak with exertion and tension, cock sensitive and straining, his ass sore but still unaccustomed to the sudden emptiness. He curls up a little on his side and scoots closer, his legs nudging Fives' legs in a haphazard way, reaching out more carefully to run a hand through Fives' short damp hair, to caress the side of his face.
"Oh, sweetheart," he murmurs, with a gentle smile that turns, inevitably, rueful and salacious at once. "It's okay, look at me. Maybe if you hadn't fucked my actual brains out I would have remembered what it's like to be nineteen."
He's nineteen years old, he's a grown man, dammit, and he's just had the best sex of his entire, admittedly short, god damned life. He shouldn't want to fucking cry over this... which doesn't change the fact that he kind of does. But he lets Jedao nudge a leg in between his, and tries not to cringe at the other man's careful tone of voice. And he can't very well not make eye contact, not unless he wants to come off like a petulant child. At least the flush on his cheeks can be passed off as exertion, not profound humiliation, and if his eyes are a little suspiciously bright it's no more than that.
He wishes he had it in him to be casually dismissive of the situation. To just not care. He doesn't, though. "It's not like you're all that old," he points out instead, trying to tease but knowing even as the words leave his mouth that he's not really hitting the right note.
He feels old. He could have - maybe should have - died so many times, and here he is, still alive. It seems impossible that he hasn't used up his span and then some, that he hasn't cheated, crawling back into the sunlight when he was meant to stay below.
He doesn't really want to think about that feeling at all.
"Old enough that I should have listened to you at least half as well as you were listening to me," he says instead, pointed, leans forward to punctuate it with a quick kiss.
Fives huffs quietly and then seizes on the distraction of the kiss, chasing Jedao's lips when he pulls away. He doesn't want to be soothed like a child any more than he wants to be kicked out in shame, so he slides a hand forward onto Jedao's hip, rubs his thumb over the sharp jut of his hipbone.
"What can I do to make it up to you?" he asks against Jedao's lips, aiming for lascivious, coming out... somewhere at least in the vicinity of it. Jedao hadn't seemed to thrilled with his offer to blow him, and he's not sure about the idea of bottoming for the first time here and now, but if that's what Jedao wants- Well, it's not like he hasn't wanted to try it sometime, he's just never managed to muster any enthusiasm for the idea of taking some stranger's cock in a bathroom or back hallway or alley.
He has to bite back a sigh at Fives' reluctance, his incompletely quashed doubt and unhappiness. Jedao doesn't know how to express that he wants to soothe Fives simply because he doesn't want him to be unhappy, and because he doesn't think Fives has reason to be; if Fives seems young to him - in the ways that he does - it is a reason to take care, not condescension.
He tilts almost imperceptibly into the touch, reaches out to skate his own hand over Fives' chest, languorous, pensive.
"With the caveat that it is absolutely fine if the answer is no..." he licks his lips, once, briefly enough that it might have been thoughtless, a reflexive reaction, "...you said something about three times?" His tone wavers between hopeful and playful, so excessively innocent it tips over into naughty parody.
He's nineteen, and touchy in the way of most nineteen year olds, with the added insecurities of trying to navigate a 'deviant' sexuality in a world that would make his life a living hell if it were publicly known. And he simply doesn't have the experience or self-confidence yet to deal gracefully with this kind of situation. He tries, but it's one more ball than he can successfully keep in the air at this point in his life.
So he presses in to Jedao and aims for distraction, takes some solace in the fact the other man reacts positively to the touch, and... waits for his answer. The caveat makes him absolutely certain of what Jedao's going to watch, and he makes himself take slow, steady breaths to try and keep his tension at the thought from becoming obvious. He can do this. He wants to do this. Some day. Just... not right on the heels of failure. Not as compensation for fucking up.
He's so focused on what he's sure Jedao's request is going to be that he almost doesn't process what it actually is, and when he does his breath catches for a moment and then he laughs. Actually laughs. Relief bursting out of him in a deep, startled rumble. "Yeah, I, uh, I did," he admits, smiling a little sheepishly. "I... um, I did say I'd need a break first, though... right?" He's sure he did. He can't possibly have implied he'd be able to get it up again immediately... can he? Oh christ, he hopes he hadn't.
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It's absolutely perfect and completely overwhelming, and Fives can't stop himself from rocking against Jedao's hip, quick, urgent little strokes that leave slick trails of rapidly cooling precome smeared along Jedao's skin. He's starting to worry he isn't going to least even long enough to get his dick in Jedao, let alone long enough to make him come, but even the dread of that particular humiliation creeping into the periphery of his thoughts isn't enough to keep him still.
"Ah... fuck-" He nips at Jedao's bottom lip, then the sharp line of his jaw, shivering at the rasp of stubble against his lips, the slick-hot drag of his cock along Jedao's flank, the sweet grip of Jedao's body at his fingers. "The way... the way you fucking feel."
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"Let me - let me up, I should be on my knees for three, and that should do it -" Fives is big, but he's big all over, and that many fingers will stretch Jedao wonderfully wide; his breath stutters imagining it, and soon, soon - "Fuck, I want you so badly."
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He's about to press in for another kiss when Jedao makes his announcement and he stills, quivering at the thought. Jedao up on his knees for him, stretched wide and wet and ready: he has to reach down to squeeze himself again, groaning and shifting and panting with almost desperate want.
"Yeah-" It's a hoarse rasp, and it takes him a moment longer to release himself and shift back up onto his knees, looming over Jedao and shifting his attention to where his fingers are pressed into him. "Yeah, just-" He eases them free, biting his lip at the way it feels like Jedao's body is clutching at them, trying not to imagine what that will feel like around his cock.
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"Put - put your other hand on my back," he instructs, some weird bad instinct tweaking a little at knowing Fives is behind him and not seeing him, the shapes of their shadows tangled unrecognizably between the plain overhead lights and the rumpled mounds and valleys of the sheets. He just needs - more touch, a clear point of reference, a way to place Fives apart from what Fives is doing to him.
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He's so damn beautiful, and he wants to tell him so but it feels like it would be ridiculous, too much, but he does let himself appreciate. The way Jedao's dick and balls hang heavy between his legs, dark and flushed and perfect, the dip at the hollow of his back and the way the light sheen of sweat on his skin highlights his muscles. He's not bulky, could maybe do with putting on a few pounds, even, but he's all slim muscle and taut skin and beautifully proportioned.
Fives leans in to press his mouth to the curve of one ass cheek, lets his tongue drag over the skin before he nips lightly, just hard enough to leave a rapidly fading imprint of his teeth. At the same time he reaches between Jedao's legs with his other hand, caresses his balls, hefting their weight and groaning in pleasure, hips twitching so his cock drags along Jedao's flank again. He's panting into Jedao's skin as he drags his fingers back from there, along the smooth, delicate skin behind his balls, circles his thumb around his opening and groans again at the feel of it fluttering at his touch.
"Fuck," he rasps, and pulls both hands away for a moment, though he keeps his mouth pressed to Jedao's skin as he reaches blindly for the KY where he'd dropped it last. "Need more... more slick." He's not going to fuck this up now, but it only takes a moment to snap it open, smear his fingers again, drop the tube, and then both his hands are back. Big fingers circling Jedao's hole again, pulling gently at the rim.
"So fucking perfect," he murmurs, ragged and absolutely involuntary. "Breathe for me," he adds, and then presses three fingers slowly, steadily, against the fluttering resistance of Jedao's entrance, while his other hand strokes almost jerkily along Jedao's lower back and Fives pants for breath, clings desperately to some kind of restraint, as he kneels up again to watch his fingers slipping inexorably into Jedao's body.
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You're so sweet, he'd said before, all fondness, but he's grateful for it now, for more thoughtfulness than he really expected from a teenager, even one as gracious and intelligent as Fives has proved in the last few days. Jedao tries to take the reminder to heart. He knows to breathe but it's easy to forget, with how wound up he is, with how long it's been and how hard it is to think. He breathes slow and shallow, long pulls between his teeth like a silk scarf pulled through a ring.
The sound he makes when Fives' fingers work in sounds crushed out of him, wrecked and oozing like oil from an olive press. He has to keep breathing, and he tries, even though it feels like he can't manage anything except keeping his elbows locked as he shudders. The stretch feels impossible, unbearable, even though he's so slick and keyed up that it barely hurts at all, smolders instead of burns, strains in the best way. He hangs his head, pants hard, entirely in his body and of his body, rocks so shallowly, torn between his desperation to adjust and the always-too-much intensity of being pried open.
And then, like a switch flipping somewhere between the nodes of his spine, his body adjusts, accepts, needs more.
"Now, now, I need you in me, Fives please -"
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His whole body's trembling slightly, sweat slicking his skin and trickling down between his pecks and the hollows of his abs, pooling at the small of his back where he's bent forward just enough to let it gather. His whole world feels like it's been focused down to nothing but want and the heat of Jedao's body clenching around his fingers, and he wants to ask is this enough? and please? and he's about to. Trying to find the words, and the voice to speak them in, when Jedao beats him to the punch.
"Yes," he manages to croak, and, "fuck," and, "please." Slurred and ragged and barely audible as he pulls his fingers free with less care than he should have used, scrambles almost desperately to position himself behind Jedao. He'd imagined this differently, Jedao on his back so he could lean over him, lick into his mouth and swallow his sounds as he pressed into him, but all he cares about right now is getting into him, anyway he can.
He barely has the presence of mind to grab the KY again, to squeeze out an almost ludicrous amount and stroke it over his cock with a hiss that turns into a groan, jerking into his own loose fist. "God... fuck... wanna fuck you... wanna be in you-" It's rambling and disjointed, pushed out on short, panting breaths as he kneels behind Jedao, one big hand on his hip, gripping him, and the other on his own cock, guiding himself to Jedao's entrance, and there's no way to describe the sound he makes as he starts to push the head of his cock against Jedao's grasping hole as anything but a whimper.
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He whines when Fives' fingers withdraw, less for the roughness of it than the simple necessity, swallows haplessly as he waits for Fives to slick himself, the few seconds of emptiness feeling interminable, the faint wet noises sending shivers up his slightly protruding spine.
"Yeah, please, come on - you did so good, I can take it," he promises, equally disjointed, sometimes talking over Fives and sometimes not. He sucks in air, a low visceral gasp, when Fives' cockhead breaches into him, pops in easily past his well-stretched rim. He bites his own lip again, hard, struggling not to curse because he wants to hear that whimper, savors it almost as much as the thick insistent pressure filling him up.
He pushes back, just a little, takes Fives a little deeper, and it's perfect, and it isn't nearly enough. "Move, baby, give it to me, fuck me, you feel so good -"
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"Fuck." He's holding Jedao's hips almost bruise tight, pulling him back against him as he pushes in, feels Jedao pushing back with him, his body open for him until he's balls deep. "So t-tight. Fucking, fucking perfect." His voice is ragged and almost broken, and he folds over Jedao's back to press them, trembling, into the sweat-damp skin at the back of his neck.
He's afraid if he isn't careful, if he doesn't pause now and take a breath, he's going to go off like a damn rocket in no time flat. But then Jedao's asking--almost begging--him to move, and there's no way he can resist that demand, no way he can do anything but tighten his grip, slide part way out, and then slam back in, hard and desperate.
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"Yes - yes - yes -" Jedao gasps, chants, hisses, patching in endless breathless sibilants so that he doesn't let himself shout. The raw strength of the thrust and vicious speed smash through him like a tidal wave. Fives' cock forces him open, deeper than his fingers could reach, heavy and hot and relentless, and Jedao could sob with how good it feels, how much it feels, like he could shake apart like a stone building in an earthquake, lose chunks of himself and be lighter for it.
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The room is filled with the quiet sounds of their panting breaths and muttered pleas and encouragements and curses, the slap of skin, the slick sounds of flesh on flesh. Fives frees one hand from Jedao's hip and slides it up his back, fingers tracing the knobs of his spine, smearing the sweat on his skin, then latches onto his shoulder for better leverage. Bends a little to change the angle and fucks into Jedao hard and deep, his strokes almost punishing.
He can feel the heat in his belly coiling tight, his balls pulling up, the buzz under his skin spreading like sheet lightning, and he knows he's not going to last. Knows he should slow or stop or something to keep from embarrassing himself. But it's so fucking good and he's wanted it for so long, and all he can do is make quiet, desperate noises of want as he quickens his pace further and bends over Jedao's back, fumbling to reach beneath him and try to get a hold on his cock. Hope that there's better than a snowball's chance in hell that he can bring him along with him as he tips over the edge.
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The weight, the heat, the gorgeous muscled lines of Fives' chest against his back are so distracting that it takes Jedao a second to realize that Fives is reaching for him to jerk him off, an inference that uses up his last remaining speck of coherent thought, and it doesn't occur to him why, obviously, Fives would want him to come. Jedao could go now, easily, could have gotten off ten minutes ago while Fives was fingering him, with the right touch on his cock and a willingness to let go, but he didn't want to come then, and he still doesn't now. He's too caught up in how amazing it feels to get fucked, how everything about Fives pounding him is exactly what he's wanted, how desperately he doesn't want it to end yet.
He shudders onto one buckling arm, trying to get his hand in Fives' way with barely any coordination, clenches down reflexively as he fights to hold back his own orgasm.
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"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he mutters, slurred and only halfway to coherency even once it feels safe to let himself speak again, because it's the only word that feels versatile enough for his elation and frustration and rueful awareness that he really should have known this would happen.
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It's so fucking good, so perfect, and he mouths almost lazily at Jedao's back, the taste of sweat mingling with the blood in his mouth as his world slowly expands again, to encompass more than Jedao's body beneath and around him and the sweet, heavy lethargy that's starting to weight him down after two god damn amazing orgasms in short order. It's only then that he registers Jedao's continued buzzing tension, the slurred obscenities, the fact he'd never managed to so much as get a hand on his cock, and he stiffens as the implications start to seep through the fog that feels like it's shrouding his brain.
He shudders once, and sucks in a sharp, pained breath. He doesn't even know what to say, how to apologize for the clearly massive disappointment he's made of himself. It's god damn humiliating, and he curls down against Jedao's back like he's trying to hide there.
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"Darling, I - fuck, that was - amazing, really," and it was, which is why he'd gotten so greedy, forgotten to think about who he was with or pay attention to all the signs of how close Fives was, "But I cannot take your weight right now, I think my bones are made of melting butter, shift over."
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He forces himself to push himself up at Jedao's warning, much as he'd prefer to stay where he is and pretend he can hide from his embarrassment. "Sorry," he croaks, and swallows convulsively, the copper teams if blood bright on his tongue. "I- I can blow you?" he adds hesitantly, not sure if that's the right consolation prize to offer, but he's not feeling secure or confident enough right now to offer to bottom for the first time right now.
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...although he should be thinking about the guilt and misery in Fives' voice, poor kid. Jesus. Jedao definitely doesn't want to turn him down, not right now, even though he isn't sure he wants to accept, either.
"...I'm thinking about it," he murmurs, because sometimes honesty can cover a multitude of sins, and lets his persistent lust seep into his voice. Fuck, he can feel his own pulse in his cock right now, and it would be so easy to finish off, and it wouldn't be bad, even if it wasn't exactly what he wanted. But he can hear how hard Fives would take it, too young for mishaps and re-adjustments to feel like the way of the world, instead of the end of it. At least in terms of sex.
"Come around where I can hold you? Please." Hiding his face at peak moments is all well and good, but he wants Fives to be able to see his face for this, wants to be able to kiss him, offer some more effective reassurance and comfort than he's managed so far.
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His shoulders hunch even further at Jedao's murmur, because that's not exactly an encouraging response, and he's about to slide off the bed and find his underwear when Jedao speaks again.
Oh... maybe it's not so bad, then? Maybe. He hesitates for a moment, then clambers over Jedao and stretches out in front of him, carefully not looking at his face.
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"Oh, sweetheart," he murmurs, with a gentle smile that turns, inevitably, rueful and salacious at once. "It's okay, look at me. Maybe if you hadn't fucked my actual brains out I would have remembered what it's like to be nineteen."
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He wishes he had it in him to be casually dismissive of the situation. To just not care. He doesn't, though. "It's not like you're all that old," he points out instead, trying to tease but knowing even as the words leave his mouth that he's not really hitting the right note.
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He doesn't really want to think about that feeling at all.
"Old enough that I should have listened to you at least half as well as you were listening to me," he says instead, pointed, leans forward to punctuate it with a quick kiss.
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"What can I do to make it up to you?" he asks against Jedao's lips, aiming for lascivious, coming out... somewhere at least in the vicinity of it. Jedao hadn't seemed to thrilled with his offer to blow him, and he's not sure about the idea of bottoming for the first time here and now, but if that's what Jedao wants- Well, it's not like he hasn't wanted to try it sometime, he's just never managed to muster any enthusiasm for the idea of taking some stranger's cock in a bathroom or back hallway or alley.
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He tilts almost imperceptibly into the touch, reaches out to skate his own hand over Fives' chest, languorous, pensive.
"With the caveat that it is absolutely fine if the answer is no..." he licks his lips, once, briefly enough that it might have been thoughtless, a reflexive reaction, "...you said something about three times?" His tone wavers between hopeful and playful, so excessively innocent it tips over into naughty parody.
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So he presses in to Jedao and aims for distraction, takes some solace in the fact the other man reacts positively to the touch, and... waits for his answer. The caveat makes him absolutely certain of what Jedao's going to watch, and he makes himself take slow, steady breaths to try and keep his tension at the thought from becoming obvious. He can do this. He wants to do this. Some day. Just... not right on the heels of failure. Not as compensation for fucking up.
He's so focused on what he's sure Jedao's request is going to be that he almost doesn't process what it actually is, and when he does his breath catches for a moment and then he laughs. Actually laughs. Relief bursting out of him in a deep, startled rumble. "Yeah, I, uh, I did," he admits, smiling a little sheepishly. "I... um, I did say I'd need a break first, though... right?" He's sure he did. He can't possibly have implied he'd be able to get it up again immediately... can he? Oh christ, he hopes he hadn't.
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