There's no gradual build-up, no starting slow and working his way up to faster and harder; it's zero to sixty so fast there's no perceptible change in gears along the way, and Fives can hardly breathe for how good it feels, how tight and hot and perfect. He could dial it back if Jedao asked, would stop in a heartbeat and pull himself away if Jedao wanted it, but in the face of Jedao's low-voiced, breathless encouragement all Fives can do, all he can think of, is fuck Jedao as hard and as fast and as desperate as he can.
The room is filled with the quiet sounds of their panting breaths and muttered pleas and encouragements and curses, the slap of skin, the slick sounds of flesh on flesh. Fives frees one hand from Jedao's hip and slides it up his back, fingers tracing the knobs of his spine, smearing the sweat on his skin, then latches onto his shoulder for better leverage. Bends a little to change the angle and fucks into Jedao hard and deep, his strokes almost punishing.
He can feel the heat in his belly coiling tight, his balls pulling up, the buzz under his skin spreading like sheet lightning, and he knows he's not going to last. Knows he should slow or stop or something to keep from embarrassing himself. But it's so fucking good and he's wanted it for so long, and all he can do is make quiet, desperate noises of want as he quickens his pace further and bends over Jedao's back, fumbling to reach beneath him and try to get a hold on his cock. Hope that there's better than a snowball's chance in hell that he can bring him along with him as he tips over the edge.
As soon as Fives has a recognizable rhythm - fast, grueling, perfect - Jedao is rocking back to meet him, the muscles in his arms shaking as he takes Fives' cock. When Fives shifts his angle Jedao jerks a little, makes a low garbled groaning noise churned out of him as he manages to swallow a scream.
The weight, the heat, the gorgeous muscled lines of Fives' chest against his back are so distracting that it takes Jedao a second to realize that Fives is reaching for him to jerk him off, an inference that uses up his last remaining speck of coherent thought, and it doesn't occur to him why, obviously, Fives would want him to come. Jedao could go now, easily, could have gotten off ten minutes ago while Fives was fingering him, with the right touch on his cock and a willingness to let go, but he didn't want to come then, and he still doesn't now. He's too caught up in how amazing it feels to get fucked, how everything about Fives pounding him is exactly what he's wanted, how desperately he doesn't want it to end yet.
He shudders onto one buckling arm, trying to get his hand in Fives' way with barely any coordination, clenches down reflexively as he fights to hold back his own orgasm.
Fives almost sobs in frustration as Jedao bats his hand away, presses his forehead into the sweat-slick skin between Jedao's shoulder blades and wills himself to slow down or stop, to give himself a break, to do something to stop the rocketing build towards release. But then Jedao's clenching tight around him, completely unexpected and so fucking amazing amazing it punches his breath right out of him, wipes away any last scrap of coherent thought and he slams back into Jedao hard, only deeply ingrained fear and paranoia keeping him mostly quiet as he bites his lip hard enough to bleed and comes, shaking, in long, almost agonizing pulses.
Jedao feels like a chorus, or a cacophony, thinks yes and no, and oh fuck, I'm an idiot, and but we just and please all in the same moment. Fives' last desperate merciless stroke feels fucking incredible, rattles him from his hips to his jaw bone, and he has to bite down hastily on his own hand to keep quiet himself, tension wound too tight all through him to do anything but clutch his fist in the sheets and keep squeezing around Fives' cock.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he mutters, slurred and only halfway to coherency even once it feels safe to let himself speak again, because it's the only word that feels versatile enough for his elation and frustration and rueful awareness that he really should have known this would happen.
Fives jerks and shudders helplessly through his orgasm, barely even breathing as the whole world fades to nothing but Jedao's body beneath him and the heat spreading under his skin, setting every nerve ablaze. He's almost sobbing with the intensity of it, and his hips work in small, disjointed circles against Jedao's ass as it finally starts to trail off into aftershocks.
It's so fucking good, so perfect, and he mouths almost lazily at Jedao's back, the taste of sweat mingling with the blood in his mouth as his world slowly expands again, to encompass more than Jedao's body beneath and around him and the sweet, heavy lethargy that's starting to weight him down after two god damn amazing orgasms in short order. It's only then that he registers Jedao's continued buzzing tension, the slurred obscenities, the fact he'd never managed to so much as get a hand on his cock, and he stiffens as the implications start to seep through the fog that feels like it's shrouding his brain.
He shudders once, and sucks in a sharp, pained breath. He doesn't even know what to say, how to apologize for the clearly massive disappointment he's made of himself. It's god damn humiliating, and he curls down against Jedao's back like he's trying to hide there.
Jedao makes a soft noise, more or less ooof, and gets his other hand back underneath him before he collapses - onto his elbows, or entirely. He drags in a couple more ragged, seesawing breaths, trying to get his thoughts into some semblance of a line so he can make them into words.
"Darling, I - fuck, that was - amazing, really," and it was, which is why he'd gotten so greedy, forgotten to think about who he was with or pay attention to all the signs of how close Fives was, "But I cannot take your weight right now, I think my bones are made of melting butter, shift over."
Fives huffs, a bitter, not quite laugh. He knows exactly how not amazing it was, but of course Jedao's not going to be an apple about it. Of course he's going to pretend Fives wasn't just a massive disappointed.
He forces himself to push himself up at Jedao's warning, much as he'd prefer to stay where he is and pretend he can hide from his embarrassment. "Sorry," he croaks, and swallows convulsively, the copper teams if blood bright on his tongue. "I- I can blow you?" he adds hesitantly, not sure if that's the right consolation prize to offer, but he's not feeling secure or confident enough right now to offer to bottom for the first time right now.
Jedao grunts quietly, a half-strangled hnnnggh, clenches briefly again. He's - he's thinking about it.
...although he should be thinking about the guilt and misery in Fives' voice, poor kid. Jesus. Jedao definitely doesn't want to turn him down, not right now, even though he isn't sure he wants to accept, either.
"...I'm thinking about it," he murmurs, because sometimes honesty can cover a multitude of sins, and lets his persistent lust seep into his voice. Fuck, he can feel his own pulse in his cock right now, and it would be so easy to finish off, and it wouldn't be bad, even if it wasn't exactly what he wanted. But he can hear how hard Fives would take it, too young for mishaps and re-adjustments to feel like the way of the world, instead of the end of it. At least in terms of sex.
"Come around where I can hold you? Please." Hiding his face at peak moments is all well and good, but he wants Fives to be able to see his face for this, wants to be able to kiss him, offer some more effective reassurance and comfort than he's managed so far.
Fuck. Fives rocks back onto his haunches, shoulders hunched and hands clenching uselessly against his thighs. He should probably collect his clothes and get the hell out now, he can't believe he fucked everything up so badly.
His shoulders hunch even further at Jedao's murmur, because that's not exactly an encouraging response, and he's about to slide off the bed and find his underwear when Jedao speaks again.
Oh... maybe it's not so bad, then? Maybe. He hesitates for a moment, then clambers over Jedao and stretches out in front of him, carefully not looking at his face.
Jedao gingerly lets himself collapse, limbs weak with exertion and tension, cock sensitive and straining, his ass sore but still unaccustomed to the sudden emptiness. He curls up a little on his side and scoots closer, his legs nudging Fives' legs in a haphazard way, reaching out more carefully to run a hand through Fives' short damp hair, to caress the side of his face.
"Oh, sweetheart," he murmurs, with a gentle smile that turns, inevitably, rueful and salacious at once. "It's okay, look at me. Maybe if you hadn't fucked my actual brains out I would have remembered what it's like to be nineteen."
He's nineteen years old, he's a grown man, dammit, and he's just had the best sex of his entire, admittedly short, god damned life. He shouldn't want to fucking cry over this... which doesn't change the fact that he kind of does. But he lets Jedao nudge a leg in between his, and tries not to cringe at the other man's careful tone of voice. And he can't very well not make eye contact, not unless he wants to come off like a petulant child. At least the flush on his cheeks can be passed off as exertion, not profound humiliation, and if his eyes are a little suspiciously bright it's no more than that.
He wishes he had it in him to be casually dismissive of the situation. To just not care. He doesn't, though. "It's not like you're all that old," he points out instead, trying to tease but knowing even as the words leave his mouth that he's not really hitting the right note.
He feels old. He could have - maybe should have - died so many times, and here he is, still alive. It seems impossible that he hasn't used up his span and then some, that he hasn't cheated, crawling back into the sunlight when he was meant to stay below.
He doesn't really want to think about that feeling at all.
"Old enough that I should have listened to you at least half as well as you were listening to me," he says instead, pointed, leans forward to punctuate it with a quick kiss.
Fives huffs quietly and then seizes on the distraction of the kiss, chasing Jedao's lips when he pulls away. He doesn't want to be soothed like a child any more than he wants to be kicked out in shame, so he slides a hand forward onto Jedao's hip, rubs his thumb over the sharp jut of his hipbone.
"What can I do to make it up to you?" he asks against Jedao's lips, aiming for lascivious, coming out... somewhere at least in the vicinity of it. Jedao hadn't seemed to thrilled with his offer to blow him, and he's not sure about the idea of bottoming for the first time here and now, but if that's what Jedao wants- Well, it's not like he hasn't wanted to try it sometime, he's just never managed to muster any enthusiasm for the idea of taking some stranger's cock in a bathroom or back hallway or alley.
He has to bite back a sigh at Fives' reluctance, his incompletely quashed doubt and unhappiness. Jedao doesn't know how to express that he wants to soothe Fives simply because he doesn't want him to be unhappy, and because he doesn't think Fives has reason to be; if Fives seems young to him - in the ways that he does - it is a reason to take care, not condescension.
He tilts almost imperceptibly into the touch, reaches out to skate his own hand over Fives' chest, languorous, pensive.
"With the caveat that it is absolutely fine if the answer is no..." he licks his lips, once, briefly enough that it might have been thoughtless, a reflexive reaction, "...you said something about three times?" His tone wavers between hopeful and playful, so excessively innocent it tips over into naughty parody.
He's nineteen, and touchy in the way of most nineteen year olds, with the added insecurities of trying to navigate a 'deviant' sexuality in a world that would make his life a living hell if it were publicly known. And he simply doesn't have the experience or self-confidence yet to deal gracefully with this kind of situation. He tries, but it's one more ball than he can successfully keep in the air at this point in his life.
So he presses in to Jedao and aims for distraction, takes some solace in the fact the other man reacts positively to the touch, and... waits for his answer. The caveat makes him absolutely certain of what Jedao's going to watch, and he makes himself take slow, steady breaths to try and keep his tension at the thought from becoming obvious. He can do this. He wants to do this. Some day. Just... not right on the heels of failure. Not as compensation for fucking up.
He's so focused on what he's sure Jedao's request is going to be that he almost doesn't process what it actually is, and when he does his breath catches for a moment and then he laughs. Actually laughs. Relief bursting out of him in a deep, startled rumble. "Yeah, I, uh, I did," he admits, smiling a little sheepishly. "I... um, I did say I'd need a break first, though... right?" He's sure he did. He can't possibly have implied he'd be able to get it up again immediately... can he? Oh christ, he hopes he hadn't.
Jedao grins widely, pleasure and relief at Fives' laugh, at finally seeing most of the worry lift away from him.
"Yes, you did mention that," Jedao assures him, leaning in for another kiss, sweet and quick, because he can't resist that smile. "You're worth waiting for."
He means it to come out self-aware and schmaltzy, of a piece with the flirtatious inquiry. Instead it comes out quiet, a little breathless, unnervingly true.
Fives ducks his head a little, reassured and pleased and faintly embarrassed. No matter the tone of Jedao's voice, he can't let himself really believe what he says. It's just a silly, over-stated reassurance, nothing more.
"Okay, good." And maybe his voice is a little rough and his cheeks are a little darker than they had been a moment ago, but that doesn't mean anything. Or, well, it doesn't mean anything other than that he's anticipating more good sex. That's all. "So long as we're on the same page, then." And there's that sheepish smile again as he smooths his hand down Jedao's flank and presses in for another kiss, deeper and slower this time.
Jedao doesn't know why he said it like that, no matter how gorgeous Fives is, no matter how fantastic he'd felt inside him.
He knows from waiting, these days, and this is hardly waiting, not compared to -
But he knows how to take an out when he gets one, and Fives' self-conscious dismissal definitely qualifies. Jedao resolves to move past it, groans gently into the kiss, slides his hand up Fives' chest to grip his shoulder as he opens for it, languid and yearning at the same time.
Fives doesn't let himself even think about why Jedao might have said it like that, he's just grateful that Jedao accepts the out. More grateful still for the way Jedao groans into the kiss, for the calloused fingers sliding up his chest, the firm grip at his shoulder. He presses into it helplessly, his own hand dragging along the smooth skin of Jedao's flank, then back to the curve of his ass as he pulls him closer. Christ, he thinks he could do this forever.
Jedao makes warm, muffled noises and wriggles cooperatively as Fives pulls him in, throws one of his legs over Fives' thigh and lets himself rock carefully, shallowly, against his hip. The hand on Fives' shoulder squeezes the muscle there, kneads at it slowly and firmly, in time with the lazy, indulgent pace of the kiss.
Fives groans, and stretches, and has to resist the urge to push into the sweet drag of Jedao's cock along his skin. He'll let him set the pace, all things considered, but it feels so damn good and he strokes his hand lightly along Jedao's ass to distract himself from getting a solid grip and pulling him even closer.
He wants to push Jedao over and press down on top of him, wants feel every inch of bare skin pressed up against him, or better yet to taste it. Mouth at his nipples and drag his tongue along the ridges of his abs, dip it into the hollow of his navel and nip at the soft skin over his hip bones. But for now, this is good. Warm. More than he'd ever expected.
Eventually his hand slides over Fives' shoulder and strokes down his back, fingers dipping along the notches of his spine, tracing the bulges of his trapezius and deltoids, alternating between light fingertips and the splayed grasp of his entire hand. Jedao nibbles at Fives lower lip, sucking and dragging, then lets Fives slip his tongue into Jedao's mouth again, moderating the pace there as well, a wordless lesson that Fives is delightfully responsive to.
He nuzzles their noses together during a brief lull for air, hums contentedly.
"You're so good, baby, tell me what you want," he murmurs.
Fives tries not to think how painfully obvious it has to be that he's never done this and just enjoys the fact that he can have it now. That Jedao's patient and non-judgmental as he eases into the rhythm of it; long, dragging kisses and exploratory passes of his hands over wiry muscle and warm skin mapped by scars, the feel of Jedao rocking languidly against him, hard and leaking and perfect.
"Christ," he mumbles, ducking his head a little and blushing. "That's... that's not a fair question."
"I am not a fair man," he retorts, voice silky-smooth, both a tease and a warning.
He breaks the tone into full silliness a second latter, waggling his eyebrows and grinning suggestively. "I probably have ulterior motives for asking."
"You're an asshole," he answers, and huffs a laugh before leaning in for another kiss, long and slow and sweet, and definitely incorporating Jedao's lessons. But then he takes a slow breath and pushes against Jedao's shoulder. "And I want... I want to taste you. All of you."
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The room is filled with the quiet sounds of their panting breaths and muttered pleas and encouragements and curses, the slap of skin, the slick sounds of flesh on flesh. Fives frees one hand from Jedao's hip and slides it up his back, fingers tracing the knobs of his spine, smearing the sweat on his skin, then latches onto his shoulder for better leverage. Bends a little to change the angle and fucks into Jedao hard and deep, his strokes almost punishing.
He can feel the heat in his belly coiling tight, his balls pulling up, the buzz under his skin spreading like sheet lightning, and he knows he's not going to last. Knows he should slow or stop or something to keep from embarrassing himself. But it's so fucking good and he's wanted it for so long, and all he can do is make quiet, desperate noises of want as he quickens his pace further and bends over Jedao's back, fumbling to reach beneath him and try to get a hold on his cock. Hope that there's better than a snowball's chance in hell that he can bring him along with him as he tips over the edge.
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The weight, the heat, the gorgeous muscled lines of Fives' chest against his back are so distracting that it takes Jedao a second to realize that Fives is reaching for him to jerk him off, an inference that uses up his last remaining speck of coherent thought, and it doesn't occur to him why, obviously, Fives would want him to come. Jedao could go now, easily, could have gotten off ten minutes ago while Fives was fingering him, with the right touch on his cock and a willingness to let go, but he didn't want to come then, and he still doesn't now. He's too caught up in how amazing it feels to get fucked, how everything about Fives pounding him is exactly what he's wanted, how desperately he doesn't want it to end yet.
He shudders onto one buckling arm, trying to get his hand in Fives' way with barely any coordination, clenches down reflexively as he fights to hold back his own orgasm.
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"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he mutters, slurred and only halfway to coherency even once it feels safe to let himself speak again, because it's the only word that feels versatile enough for his elation and frustration and rueful awareness that he really should have known this would happen.
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It's so fucking good, so perfect, and he mouths almost lazily at Jedao's back, the taste of sweat mingling with the blood in his mouth as his world slowly expands again, to encompass more than Jedao's body beneath and around him and the sweet, heavy lethargy that's starting to weight him down after two god damn amazing orgasms in short order. It's only then that he registers Jedao's continued buzzing tension, the slurred obscenities, the fact he'd never managed to so much as get a hand on his cock, and he stiffens as the implications start to seep through the fog that feels like it's shrouding his brain.
He shudders once, and sucks in a sharp, pained breath. He doesn't even know what to say, how to apologize for the clearly massive disappointment he's made of himself. It's god damn humiliating, and he curls down against Jedao's back like he's trying to hide there.
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"Darling, I - fuck, that was - amazing, really," and it was, which is why he'd gotten so greedy, forgotten to think about who he was with or pay attention to all the signs of how close Fives was, "But I cannot take your weight right now, I think my bones are made of melting butter, shift over."
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He forces himself to push himself up at Jedao's warning, much as he'd prefer to stay where he is and pretend he can hide from his embarrassment. "Sorry," he croaks, and swallows convulsively, the copper teams if blood bright on his tongue. "I- I can blow you?" he adds hesitantly, not sure if that's the right consolation prize to offer, but he's not feeling secure or confident enough right now to offer to bottom for the first time right now.
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...although he should be thinking about the guilt and misery in Fives' voice, poor kid. Jesus. Jedao definitely doesn't want to turn him down, not right now, even though he isn't sure he wants to accept, either.
"...I'm thinking about it," he murmurs, because sometimes honesty can cover a multitude of sins, and lets his persistent lust seep into his voice. Fuck, he can feel his own pulse in his cock right now, and it would be so easy to finish off, and it wouldn't be bad, even if it wasn't exactly what he wanted. But he can hear how hard Fives would take it, too young for mishaps and re-adjustments to feel like the way of the world, instead of the end of it. At least in terms of sex.
"Come around where I can hold you? Please." Hiding his face at peak moments is all well and good, but he wants Fives to be able to see his face for this, wants to be able to kiss him, offer some more effective reassurance and comfort than he's managed so far.
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His shoulders hunch even further at Jedao's murmur, because that's not exactly an encouraging response, and he's about to slide off the bed and find his underwear when Jedao speaks again.
Oh... maybe it's not so bad, then? Maybe. He hesitates for a moment, then clambers over Jedao and stretches out in front of him, carefully not looking at his face.
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"Oh, sweetheart," he murmurs, with a gentle smile that turns, inevitably, rueful and salacious at once. "It's okay, look at me. Maybe if you hadn't fucked my actual brains out I would have remembered what it's like to be nineteen."
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He wishes he had it in him to be casually dismissive of the situation. To just not care. He doesn't, though. "It's not like you're all that old," he points out instead, trying to tease but knowing even as the words leave his mouth that he's not really hitting the right note.
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He doesn't really want to think about that feeling at all.
"Old enough that I should have listened to you at least half as well as you were listening to me," he says instead, pointed, leans forward to punctuate it with a quick kiss.
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"What can I do to make it up to you?" he asks against Jedao's lips, aiming for lascivious, coming out... somewhere at least in the vicinity of it. Jedao hadn't seemed to thrilled with his offer to blow him, and he's not sure about the idea of bottoming for the first time here and now, but if that's what Jedao wants- Well, it's not like he hasn't wanted to try it sometime, he's just never managed to muster any enthusiasm for the idea of taking some stranger's cock in a bathroom or back hallway or alley.
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He tilts almost imperceptibly into the touch, reaches out to skate his own hand over Fives' chest, languorous, pensive.
"With the caveat that it is absolutely fine if the answer is no..." he licks his lips, once, briefly enough that it might have been thoughtless, a reflexive reaction, "...you said something about three times?" His tone wavers between hopeful and playful, so excessively innocent it tips over into naughty parody.
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So he presses in to Jedao and aims for distraction, takes some solace in the fact the other man reacts positively to the touch, and... waits for his answer. The caveat makes him absolutely certain of what Jedao's going to watch, and he makes himself take slow, steady breaths to try and keep his tension at the thought from becoming obvious. He can do this. He wants to do this. Some day. Just... not right on the heels of failure. Not as compensation for fucking up.
He's so focused on what he's sure Jedao's request is going to be that he almost doesn't process what it actually is, and when he does his breath catches for a moment and then he laughs. Actually laughs. Relief bursting out of him in a deep, startled rumble. "Yeah, I, uh, I did," he admits, smiling a little sheepishly. "I... um, I did say I'd need a break first, though... right?" He's sure he did. He can't possibly have implied he'd be able to get it up again immediately... can he? Oh christ, he hopes he hadn't.
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"Yes, you did mention that," Jedao assures him, leaning in for another kiss, sweet and quick, because he can't resist that smile. "You're worth waiting for."
He means it to come out self-aware and schmaltzy, of a piece with the flirtatious inquiry. Instead it comes out quiet, a little breathless, unnervingly true.
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"Okay, good." And maybe his voice is a little rough and his cheeks are a little darker than they had been a moment ago, but that doesn't mean anything. Or, well, it doesn't mean anything other than that he's anticipating more good sex. That's all. "So long as we're on the same page, then." And there's that sheepish smile again as he smooths his hand down Jedao's flank and presses in for another kiss, deeper and slower this time.
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He knows from waiting, these days, and this is hardly waiting, not compared to -
But he knows how to take an out when he gets one, and Fives' self-conscious dismissal definitely qualifies. Jedao resolves to move past it, groans gently into the kiss, slides his hand up Fives' chest to grip his shoulder as he opens for it, languid and yearning at the same time.
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He wants to push Jedao over and press down on top of him, wants feel every inch of bare skin pressed up against him, or better yet to taste it. Mouth at his nipples and drag his tongue along the ridges of his abs, dip it into the hollow of his navel and nip at the soft skin over his hip bones. But for now, this is good. Warm. More than he'd ever expected.
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He nuzzles their noses together during a brief lull for air, hums contentedly.
"You're so good, baby, tell me what you want," he murmurs.
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"Christ," he mumbles, ducking his head a little and blushing. "That's... that's not a fair question."
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He breaks the tone into full silliness a second latter, waggling his eyebrows and grinning suggestively. "I probably have ulterior motives for asking."
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