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[ninefox]

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[ninefox]

"No," Jedao insists. "If she goes after him like I want to and cuts his fingers off, then you might have a professional obligation to some token disapproval. But she was hunted by a lilyfucking brute who couldn't handle being laughed at by a kid. She fought to defend herself and she did a damn fine job of it. Of course you should be proud."

[callmefives]

"Good." He's never quite sure where the lines are for regular people, it's good to have Jedao as a sounding board for it. "Because I really can't stop." He presses his grin into Jedao's shoulder and holds him tight then adds, more quietly. "She asked for me. After. She asked Shiro to get me." And maybe that shouldn't feel like a triumph, but it does.

[ninefox]

At the exact moment someone thinks of Jedao as a reliable representative or normal morality, elsewhere on the ship, Mikodez walks into one of the roving patches of inchoate anxiety, and is overcome by nameless, creeping horror.

Jedao pulls back a little to look Fives in the eyes, a bright smile lighting up his face.

"Fives, that's great." He may not know Selina personally, but he has seen how skittish she can be, how she skulks and lurks, how she holds people at arms' length with shrugs and sneers.

[callmefives]

"Yeah," he agrees, and this time his smile is smaller and warmer. "It is. I was afraid, after the breach, that she was going to shut me out even harder." She was definitely not happy with the parental association, or hadn't seemed to be. But now- "I mean, she could still decide she hates me and not talk to me again for weeks, but for right now-" He shrugs, still smiling. "I'll take it."

[ninefox]

"For now, you did good," Jedao says warmly. "And even if she backtracks later, it's still a good step. It's the beginning of a path you can keep inviting her on, that she can take when she's ready."

[callmefives]

Fives lets out a breath and nods. "Yeah. That... it's a good way to look at it. She knows the options there now, hopefully she'll keep coming back, even if there are setbacks." He's gotten more realistic about the process since he arrived, at least, he doesn't expect miracles, just hopes for progress.

He leans into Jedao and rests his head on his shoulder. "But Force I still kriffing hate the infirmary," he admits quietly, glad for his space where he can admit it, let the weight of his fear go just a little.

[ninefox]

Jedao hugs him tight, proud of him too for how he can say it now.

"I know, love. But you didn't let it stop you being there for her, and she'll be out soon." Maybe, Jedao hopes, in some tiny way that will even be healing for Fives, for someone he cares about to come out of the damn place assisted and alive.

[callmefives]

He huffs quietly against Jedao's shoulder. "It's a lot easier walking in on my own two feet than waking up there after being killed," he points out quietly. Especially with Tup and his death and everything else that led to it and came after at the forefront of his mind. "At least Clark was there, and Selina will be fine." He says that last like it's an order, like he has to force it to be so.

[ninefox]

"Just because it wasn't the worst possible thing doesn't mean it wasn't hard."

Jedao is derailed for just a moment, because Clark was there is actually new information for him. Why wouldn't he have taken Fives somewhere else first? How could he possibly not know -

Clark's basically an Andan, Jedao reminds himself. Only so much can be expected.

"And of course she will be."

[callmefives]

He just leans against Jedao for a little while, breathing slowly in and out, making sure he's settled in his skin. He'd come back here because it's the place he's least likely to have to confront his ghosts unannounced, and Jedao being here is just an added comfort.

"Lie with me for a bit?" he asks quietly once he's settled. It's... still hard, to ask, but he's learning. Jedao is teaching him that it's all right to take time, or to ask for things for himself. It's all right to not always be working or training or serving somehow. But it's still so kriffing hard to be the one who asks.

[ninefox]

"Yes, love," Jedao agrees, nuzzling Fives' cheek a little. "Where do you want me?"

[callmefives]

He just lays back on the bed and swings his legs up, drawing Jedao wordlessly down with him. He'd take his boots off, but he can't be bothered. He just squirms a little so he can lie on his side and tug Jedao around to face him with one arm under his head and another draped across his waist. He just wants to have him close for a while.

[ninefox]

Jedao snuggles close, hitching one of his legs over Fives'.

[callmefives]

This is perfect, and Fives presses in close, his forehead resting against Jedao's, and sighs. "Thank you, cyar'ika," he murmurs. He's not going to sleep, even if he probably needs it, everything's too close to the surface right now, but with Jedao here, in their bed, the familiar sounds of the aquarium and the windchimes in the background, he can relax. Even Tits making her way over from where she must have been perched on Jedao's desk watching the fish and stretching out above their heads is just a comfort.

[ninefox]

Jedao runs his fingers idly through Fives' short hair, similarly enjoying the rest without any particular expectation of sleep. It's an odd time for it, and he doesn't bother closing his eyes, just savors the warmth of Fives' body against him, the strange marvel of how utterly familiar the shape of him has become.

[callmefives]

Fives hums in satisfaction as Jedao's fingers trail across his scalp, and just lets himself sink into the peace of this moment. He lets the quiet blanket them for a few minutes, feeling his breathing sync with Jedao's and his heartbeat slow.

"I talked to Quentin a couple days ago," he finally says, quiet and completely out of the blue.

[ninefox]

"Yeah?" Jedao prompts, unworried because Fives is so clearly unworried. He rather thought he would broach the subject of Quentin's extended stay first, but finds himself completely unsurprised to find Quentin has beat him to it.

[callmefives]

"About him staying." Though he supposes Jedao must know that, Quentin had talked to him about it first, after all.

"You know I never would have said no, don't you?" he asks, concerned that Jedao might have doubted him.

[ninefox]

"Didn't we have a very long discussion about you being able to say no to me?" Jedao points out, squeezing Fives' ass a little.

[callmefives]

"That's different," he insists quietly, even if he knows Jedao probably thinks it isn't. "You know I'll say no to you when it matters." He feels he's proven that much. "But he makes you happy... you love him." And he deserves that after everything he's suffered.

[ninefox]

"It is, a bit," he concedes. What happens to Fives' body and what Jedao does with his own body - or mind, he thinks, remembering the bond with an internal wince - is another.

"But I think we don't always have exactly the same criteria for what matters."

He nuzzles Fives' cheek.

"I didn't think so, really. But...I know he scared you, at first. You're careful about Nico, aren't you? Quentin and I both want to be careful about you."

[callmefives]

"We probably don't," he agrees, and he's mostly okay with that. They're different people with different frames of reference and he's learning to accept that and adapt to it. It's been... hard, after the life he's had, surrounded by brothers with almost identical formative experiences and opinions and attitudes, but he's learning.

"And... he still scares me. A little." Which is almost as hard to admit as any other weakness, but Jedao deserves his honesty. "But not as much. And-" He stops, lips pressed together pensively as he tries to figure out how to say the rest. "He asked... he wants to be... family?" he finally finishes. Not brothers, it's not that profound a connection, he doesn't think. At least not yet, if it ever can be. But it's different.

[ninefox]

"Yeah?" he asks again, but there's a different thread of tentative hope, this time. Maybe he's a hypocrite, considering his ambiguous feelings about Clark, but in a perfect world, Jedao would want to be married with both of them. Even if it can't last with Quentin - romantic happiness, in his head, is more stable, more real, in more-that-pairs. Two people is all you need for a hook-up, but three is a solid foundation.

[callmefives]

"Yeah." He's not sure how else to explain it, if he should elaborate somehow or what. "Uh... co-boyfriends?" Which feels, honestly, a little more threatening than family, but is still better than being completely separate entities.

"It feels better. Safer," he adds after a moment. "I hadn't really... I hadn't thought-" He stops, not sure how to explain to Jedao. "I've always shared," he finally settles on, quiet and slow. "Everyone. But... it was always with brothers?" Maybe that will be enough for Jedao to understand; he knows so much about Fives' life before the barge, and he's good at making those leaps.

[ninefox]

"I'd love us all to be family," he says honestly, which, if not less threatening, certainly feels less artificial to him. "I haven't ever been with two people at once before, you know," he admits. "Because I wasn't with one person long enough to matter."

The closest was Ruo and Yeren; they'd all known Ruo still had a claim on his heart, even if they were trying different things. They'd all wanted for each other, as much as wanting each other. It hurts to remember - but less than it used to.

"But it feels...right. To be shared. And I didn't know...whether you wanted that with him or if he wanted to think about it that way at all." He leans in, presses a slow but shallow kiss to Fives' mouth. "I hoped so much, when you started working on magic, that you'd get closer. That you could be good for each other."