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[ninefox]

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[callmefives]

"Or maybe it's us who've been lucky," Fives counters solemnly. "I know I have. Before you I knew I wanted my brother's to be able to serve with honor, but I didn't know to want them to have the choice not to serve at all. To want them to be free. I didn't... I didn't know what it is we should wish for... for our children." A word he'd never thought to apply to any of them, at any age. A word that had seemed so meaningless to him until Jedao had shown him what it could, and should, mean.

"You make the world... larger. And more full of possibilities than I ever imagined. And you make them all seem possible."

[ninefox]

Jedao sucks in a breath, a sob lurching somewhere in his chest.

"Our children," he whispers, ducks his chin deeply so that he can kiss the crown of Fives' head. "You make me feel free," he murmurs. "You make the world seem - bright." Instead of backbreaking.

[callmefives]

"Ours," Fives agrees fiercely. "And they'll all be free." Or he'll die trying to make it so, and he has never once, for even a moment, doubted that Jedao will too. "And you'll show them... lambs, or something like them, and how to dance, and how to grow up as people, not tools or weapons; not things."

[ninefox]

"We'll show them," Jedao corrects, because Fives loves the lambs, and dances wonderfully, and has known in his bones since long before he met Jedao that his brothers were not things.

[callmefives]

Fives ducks a little and rubs his face against Jedao's shirt with a wet, snuffling noise. "I'm not sad... or frightened-" He snuffles again and holds Jedao tighter. "Why is this kriffing happening?" he demands, sounding vaguely offended and decidedly... damp.

[ninefox]

"Too many feelings," Jedao says, deliberately exaggerating his drawl. "Gotta squeeze'em out." And then, less farcically, "It happens with happiness, sometimes. It just does."

[callmefives]

He huffs--wetly--and rubs his face against Jedao's shirt again. "It can stop any time," he mumbles, indignant. A moment later he adds, more than a little nonsensically, "I'll squeeze you out," and pushes at Jedao until he gets him rolled over onto his back then... flops on top of him, face still pressed to his shirt.

[ninefox]

Jedao laughs and groans, knees hitching up a little to bracket Fives between them.

"Is that a promise or a threat?" he asks, bemused, stroking a hand over Fives' back.

[callmefives]

"Which do you want it to be?" he asks, and lifts his head just enough to peer up at Jedao. His eyes are a little red and damp, but his cheeks aren't tear-streaked and Jedao has been spared the full runny-nosed sobbing treatment this time.

[ninefox]

Jedao kisses his forehead.

"I don't care. As long as it's you."

[callmefives]

Fives shifts up a little and then settles back down on him again, more carefully this time, so he can kiss him properly. "Then it can be both," he decides, still nonsensically before kissing him again, lazy and slow and sweet.

When he finally pulls back he smiles down at him for a moment. "I have an idea for your tattoo." It still hurts a little to think of that, when he can't have his own back, but he wants Jedao to have his mark, and he wants to put it there.

[ninefox]

Jedao's breath comes a little quicker, his smile shaky but bright.

"Tell me."

[callmefives]

Fives kisses him once more, soft and quick, then settles with his weight propped a little off to the side on one forearm, so he can look down at Jedao and trail his other hand down his scarred chest.

"I was thinking-" He hesitates for a moment, a little uncertain if this will be something Jedao will want. "If you don't mind dragonflies?" He definitely makes that a question. "Uh... five of them, trailing down your spine and staggered a little, like-" His hand comes back up to around Jedao's collarbones and he touches once, lightly, slightly off to the left. "Here-" Another touch, lower down and slightly to right of center. "And here. Not... not a straight line, like they're flying? And, uh... in blue?"

[ninefox]

"Five of them," he echoes warmly, excited and pleased, leaning in for another quick kiss. "It's perfect. Your blue?" It's a different shade than the Andan, lighter and brighter.

[callmefives]

He can't help but grin at Jedao's reception of his idea, his uncertainty fading almost instantly at his enthusiasm. "Yeah, 501st blue, like on my armor. And... maybe gold accents and highlights? Or green?" That part he's not sure of, he just knows he wants blue to be the dominant color.

[ninefox]

"Purple," Jedao says, not even thinking about it, then strokes Fives' bare forearm. "Purple for a promise." That the matching tattoo will be redone someday, no matter when.

[callmefives]

Fives shivers and tips his head down against Jedao's shoulder, his chest aching again. But in a good way. It's a strange feeling. "Purple," he agrees, his voice going a little rough. He wants his own tattoos back desperately, but he knows he won't be able to take losing them again the next time he's killed. And he can't really believe there won't be a next time.

"You don't mind? That it'll be big?" Not quite as big as his Rishi eel, but it will take up most of his upper back the way Fives envisions it.

[ninefox]

"No. That's perfect." He sighs softly, happily, nuzzles against Fives.

"You don't know how much you - hold me up, just by being you, Fives. But it's right." It's true. He's had so many bodies and so many lies. This time, this last time - he's going to get it right.

[callmefives]

"I always want to be there to hold you up, cyar'ika," he murmurs, and tips his head up for another kiss, then settles back down against Jedao's chest. "Am I all right here, or do you need me to move?" He does outweigh him by a lot, after all.

[ninefox]

"I like it," he admits. "It's like you're crushing all the fear and grief right out of me, and there's nothing left but how you feel."

[callmefives]

"I like that. I want to do that for you always," he murmurs, and nuzzles at Jedao's neck and jaw, dragging their stubble lightly together and pressing soft, warm kisses to his skin before kissing him on the lips again, slow and tender. He likes that Jedao has taught him this: slow, sweet affection with no timeline or goal.

[ninefox]

Jedao shivers a little, loving the contrast of tender motion and rough texture, so different from Fives' rigorous depilation when they first met. He kisses back just the same, soft and languid and easy.

[callmefives]

It had taken him some time to be able to relax that standard, less because of anything to do with regulations and more because his facial hair and haircut have been some of the only things he's had any true control over in his life. And he hadn't even had that until he'd been deployed. But he doesn't need those things to assert his individuality here, and he's come to like having the choice to depilate or not, without any real weight to the decision. It had taken him even longer to let his body hair grow out once he'd stopped wearing his blacks, because depilating that was something he'd done since they first started growing body hair and discovered how uncomfortable it could be under the tight body suits. But that's not an issue for him anymore, at least not on the barge... and seeing how much Jedao had liked his chest hair when he'd absently let it go a few days had been more than enough incentive to stop altogether.

Jedao's taught him so much, and helped him adjust to so many changes, and he thinks this might be his favorite lesson from a personal standpoint, as he alternates slow, deep kisses with barely there brushes of his lips or gentle nips to Jedao's lips and jaw. Just because he wants to, because it feels good and he loves Jedao so kriffing much.

[ninefox]

"Feel so good," Jedao murmurs as Fives nibbles at his jaw. "Always good with you." He wraps his left hand warm and easy over the back of Fives neck and lets his other hand wander, grip Fives' shoulder, stroke the lines of his spine and scapulae, trace the muscles of his arm.

"Fives-shei."

[callmefives]

He doesn't even really notice when he starts getting hard, that's not the point of this at all. It's just about the feel of Jedao under and against him, the warmth of him and the taste of him, the little sounds he makes and the way his hands run over Fives' in turn. It's easy and warm and soft in a way almost nothing in his life has ever been.

"Love having you like this," he answers quietly as he trails along Jedao's jaw to catch his earlobe between his teeth and tug gently. "Just being able to kiss you. And touch you." He slides the hand not supporting his weight along Jedao's upper arm and shoulder, then up into his hair, carding gently through it just to feel the soft strands slip through his fingers.