[He lets go, only a little reluctantly. The glass was cold, even through his gloves.]
I just wanted to stop us from killing ourselves. Such a stupid waste, I don't know how we managed not to self-destruct completely. And it didn't have to be like that. I don't know. Wouldn't you have liked to know everything when you were twenty-five?
[It might be a joke. He could probably find it, if he looked hard enough. Instead he takes a drink of the punch.]
This is all fake, anyway. This drink, probably. But I'm not drunk. I don't drink because that would be stupid. So. Lying, that's all it is. I'm very good at it. The trick is you just get colored water.
[Or something. The point is that he's definitely sober and lying and not sitting down on the job of keeping up the proper level of...Shuos.]
You're the best liar, shuos-zho. I'm only being helpful because I'm trying to lie half so well.
[He doesn't like you at all, and this is all a weak gesture at pretending otherwise. The punch isn't poison because he knows Mikodez has no vulnerabilities at all, and definitely not because the idea of invoking even the image of succession gives him screaming hives.]
Double blind, it's only because you have the not lying lie down. It's a move. And you'd be a terrible hexarch. Worse than poison.
My nephew's an Andan. Was an Andan. Contact specialist. He was the only one who survived a border encounter, messed up his abilities, luckily I'm high enough up I could take him in without the risk of getting my brain fried. But it's so fucking stupid, you know? What does it say if you're not confident in your ability to turn someone when you're a fucking Andan. If he was a spy for me, she should've embraced the chance. Such a fucking waste. And you want that for eternity.
I guess we all have our lines. Not morally, obviously, but in terms of efficiency. [He doesn't have any morals, it's a requirement.] The consequences of ones actions.
[He drinks half of the cup, it's nice and chilled. Just the recommended temperature for punch. He's pretty sure.]
I like reading things were people have all these dramatic reasons for not sleeping. You're probably there, somewhere. Definitely in some of the more painful dramas. Did any of your anchors ever watch those? If not there's one horror you avoided.
All of them? The vast majority are hilarious, yes, and can cheer up any day that you're afraid contains to much taste but I've always felt there's a limit to how many tears any drama should have, per episode. Also how many sex scenes.
The best ones are from the time periods when they decide they can't use your name. Fucking hilarious. I tried to get them added to the course on disguises for the best use of a false beard I've ever seen but they stuck to just clips for classes on general propaganda.
I know. If there was justice in the universe, the fact I know this would keep me up at nights.
Fucking hawks. [Scars are identifiable, which can be useful but he remembers Tsoro's refusal and there's a strange sort of almost sentimentality to the comment.
He pushes himself upright.]
You deserved better. [He could argue coherently that he's talking about the Kel, not the text he hadn't responded to, however drunk he is.]
Fuck. Freezing to death would be an incredibly stupid way to die here. Since you'd make a terrible hexarch, help me to my cabin before I start getting actually sentimental and death becomes the only option.
True. I never thought I'd call you a lucky bastard but the alternative is probably admitting that choosing to go back is stupid and I have an ego to maintain.
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3:42 AM
I just wanted to stop us from killing ourselves. Such a stupid waste, I don't know how we managed not to self-destruct completely. And it didn't have to be like that. I don't know. Wouldn't you have liked to know everything when you were twenty-five?
[It might be a joke. He could probably find it, if he looked hard enough. Instead he takes a drink of the punch.]
This is all fake, anyway. This drink, probably. But I'm not drunk. I don't drink because that would be stupid. So. Lying, that's all it is. I'm very good at it. The trick is you just get colored water.
[Or something. The point is that he's definitely sober and lying and not sitting down on the job of keeping up the proper level of...Shuos.]
3:42 AM
[The joke, at least, he understands exactly.]
You're the best liar, shuos-zho. I'm only being helpful because I'm trying to lie half so well.
[He doesn't like you at all, and this is all a weak gesture at pretending otherwise. The punch isn't poison because he knows Mikodez has no vulnerabilities at all, and definitely not because the idea of invoking even the image of succession gives him screaming hives.]
3:42 AM
[He waves the cup at Jedao.]
Double blind, it's only because you have the not lying lie down. It's a move. And you'd be a terrible hexarch. Worse than poison.
My nephew's an Andan. Was an Andan. Contact specialist. He was the only one who survived a border encounter, messed up his abilities, luckily I'm high enough up I could take him in without the risk of getting my brain fried. But it's so fucking stupid, you know? What does it say if you're not confident in your ability to turn someone when you're a fucking Andan. If he was a spy for me, she should've embraced the chance. Such a fucking waste. And you want that for eternity.
3:42 AM
But it's always an eternity for somebody if there's anyone left alive.
[It might be better if that makes no sense.]
3:42 AM
I guess we all have our lines. Not morally, obviously, but in terms of efficiency. [He doesn't have any morals, it's a requirement.] The consequences of ones actions.
3:42 AM
[Loftily; almost tongue in cheek.]
Drink more of your punch.
3:42 AM
[He drinks half of the cup, it's nice and chilled. Just the recommended temperature for punch. He's pretty sure.]
I like reading things were people have all these dramatic reasons for not sleeping. You're probably there, somewhere. Definitely in some of the more painful dramas. Did any of your anchors ever watch those? If not there's one horror you avoided.
3:42 AM
[Also, this is 100% proof that the Admiral has a sense of humor, and it overlaps with Jedao's.]
3:42 AM
3:42 AM
None of them get my scars right. Bunch of hacks.
3:42 AM
I know. If there was justice in the universe, the fact I know this would keep me up at nights.
Re: 3:42 AM
Re: 3:42 AM
He pushes himself upright.]
You deserved better. [He could argue coherently that he's talking about the Kel, not the text he hadn't responded to, however drunk he is.]
Fuck. Freezing to death would be an incredibly stupid way to die here. Since you'd make a terrible hexarch, help me to my cabin before I start getting actually sentimental and death becomes the only option.
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[He's definitely pulling Mikodez in gently to lean on him, though.]
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[He's wearing his uniform under the more appropriate to the barge jacket so he's not truly freezing but he's still cold.]
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[This might be an unnecessarily wordy way of saying: yes. Or not; Jedao's sense of obligation is strange and skewed, but strong.]
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