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[ninefox]

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[ninefox]

"Please let me," he repeats, raw with something entirely other than pain. "I can do that. For you. With you."

[callmefives]

Fives swallows hard as he lets go of Jedao's hand with one of his own, then, and reaches up to hook it around the nape of his neck. "Yeah," he agrees, rough and low, just as raw in its own way. "Thank you, Jedao-shei."

[ninefox]

"Now?" he asks, and the intimacy of it has a certain deja vu.

"Do you want to tell anyone?" Jedao won't tell if he doesn't. But if he does, they should probably do it beforehand.

[callmefives]

"Quentin and Tris?" he answers, because it's not like he'll be able to completely hide the death toll, no matter how experienced he is at simply functioning through pain and exhaustion. And the lack of horns, and the uneven bony deformity of his forehead will be obvious enough even if he could. "I don't think anyone else will care that much. I can tell Credence after, he can handle dinner shift without me easily enough." And he's probably going to be stepping down and leaving it to him soon anyway.

[ninefox]

"Okay," he agrees. "No one else needs to know, anyway. Except Selina, maybe?"

[callmefives]

"Oh." He winces. "Yeah. Maybe it would be better to tell her after?" It might upset her less. Maybe. Or maybe nothing about it will upset her at all, she's not the same girl she was before she disappeared, after all.

[ninefox]

"She seems like she doesn't like being taken by surprise," Jedao muses. "But you know her better than me."

[callmefives]

"I don't think I know her very well at all anymore," he confesses. If he ever really had. "But... you're probably right." He sighs and reaches for the pocket he'd slipped his communicator into. There's no time like the present, after all.

[ninefox]

"Shove over a little," Jedao tells him, rearranging them so that Jedao can lie on Fives' chest while he makes the calls.

[callmefives]

Fives goes easily, and loops an arm around Jedao's shoulders as he settles against his chest, then records messages for Tris, Quentin, Selina and Credence before setting it down in the narrow strip of bed next to him.

"Do, uh... do you mind doing it now?" he asks quietly. "Once they've had a chance to respond, anyway?" He thinks he should probably give them that, he's worried it might upset Tris... and piss Selina off, but he's doing it regardless.

He's barely finished asking the question when Tris's reply comes. Jedao can hear it as well as he can, and after he answers he looks questioningly down at him. "Is that all right, Ner'karta?"

[ninefox]

"After," he agrees, a little hoarsely. He doesn't want anyone else to see him do it. (To see how much he likes, to see how he likes it, visceral and intimate and strange.) "And I'll call her?"

[callmefives]

Fives lets out a long, slow breath that's undeniably relief. He really doesn't want an audience for this, Jedao will be... he'll be good. It'll be good, just the two of them. Quiet and easy safe.

And there's just... something. About Jedao being the one to do it. He's not even sure what it is, because he hadn't been bothered by the idea of handling it himself, not when he knows he'll be back. He knows exactly how he'd do it, how easy he could make it, had planned how to minimize the mess for cleanup after... but the idea of Jedao doing it eases something in him anyway. Makes him feel warm and comfortable about it, instead of just resigned.

"Thank you." His voice is almost as rough as Jedao's, and he folds himself awkwardly so that he can kiss his forehead.

He strokes his fingers rhythmically through Jedao's hair as he messages Tris back to tell her, then sets his comm aside on the bedside table. He'll answer it again if Selina responds, but otherwise he's done. "I... I wouldn't mind. Doing it myself?" He wants to be sure Jedao understands he hadn't been asking for this. "I could make it... easy."

With his vibroblade, so he wouldn't have had to worry about slipping with the first shock of pain. Of catching a rib and missing his target and bleeding out slow, because no matter how good he is, how sure, that would be a threat with a regular knife. And a blaster... it's not how he wants to go, and he thinks it would be a harder recovery than just stopping his heart with a thrust.

"... but I'm glad it's going to be you."

[ninefox]

"You put your life and death in my hands a long time ago," Jedao reminds him. "So am I."

[callmefives]

His breath hitches at that, and he tugs thoughtlessly at Jedao's hair, not even really intending it until he realizes he's urging him up, because he needs to kiss him desperately.

[ninefox]

He hums, enjoying the tug for a moment before the intent comes through, and Jedao is scrambling to oblige, shifting and curling over Fives as though Jedao could protect him, kissing him urgently back.

[callmefives]

There is absolutely nothing subtle about this kiss, it's sloppy and urgent and wet, lips and teeth and tongue and a low, rumbling moan beneath it. "Always," Fives rasps, shaky and low. "I will always trust you with... with my life. And my death." Not to shy from it if it's necessary, not to waste it. It's as important as trusting him with his life. Maybe more.

[ninefox]

Jedao gets one arm under him, grips Fives' chin hard with his other hand, kisses him again and harder, not just responding to Fives' need now but foreceful and demanding. Fives, Fives, Fives, his husband, his soldier, his traitor. Jedao's to save, to kill, to take care of, for the rest of their lives.

[callmefives]

Fives tips his head obediently up at Jedao's touch and kisses him back, just as fierce, though less demanding now. Taking his cue from Jedao and giving over control now, giving over himself absolutely for Jedao to do with as he will. Because he's Jedao's and Jedao is his, and there is nothing he won't do for him, give to him, trust him with now.

[ninefox]

Jedao bites his lip a little, then rests his forehead on Fives', catches his breath. He feels like he has no fuse any more; every spark catches instantly.

"I'll take care of you," he promises, out loud this time.

[callmefives]

Fives groans again, panting as Jedao's teeth catch at his lip, then settles beneath him.

"I know, Ner'karta. I trust you with everything... with our brothers." Which is so much bigger than trusting him with his life.

He licks his lips, some of the somberness shifting from his gaze, though the intensity fades not one bit. He slides one hand down to Jedao's ass, the other still gripping his hair tight, and rocks his hips up a little. He's not hard yet, but he's getting there. "Can we?" His lips quirk a little, a small, warm, hopeful smile. "I probably won't be up to it for a while after," he adds, teasing.

[ninefox]

Jedao laughs, and there's a lightness to it that Fives hasn't seen on him in a while. He bends to kiss Fives again, this time fast and sweet.

"Anything you want, ner'riduur," Jedao promises him.

[callmefives]

Fives beams at his answer; not at Jedao's agreement, which he'd mostly expected, but at being called his husband. It still catches him under the ribs almost every time, taking his breath away at the same time that it lights him up from the inside, and for Jedao he'd never try to hide it.

"I don't care how," he admits easily, and absolutely sincerely. "If you want to fuck me, or me to fuck you, if you want cuffs or the spreader bars or... or toys or... anything." He tugs gently at Jedao's hair, still pressing up a little so Jedao can feel him hardening as he grins up at him, so much more at peace now that he knows what's coming. "I just want you, any way you want it."

[ninefox]

"You're so hard to pamper sometimes, darling," Jedao teases, nuzzling their noses together. "How do you want it to feel?"

[callmefives]

"... oh." He flushes a little and kisses Jedao's nose... and then tries to think about it seriously. The problem is, he's not sure. A part of him wants Jedao to be entirely in control, to decide and demand and simply put him where he wants him and take what he wants; to put himself completely in Jedao's hands from this very moment. Another part, though, wants... wants to take control, because he'll probably have very little for the next week while he's recovering. And then there's the part of him that's always trying to anticipate what Jedao wants, to be good enough.

"... I want," he finally murmurs, and turns his head a little so he can press his bristly cheek to Jedao's. "I want the cuffs. On me. Please. And... for you to fuck me." And to not have to think, to be able to just react and be and know that Jedao has him. "If that's okay?" Because Jedao might not want that much control right now, killing him might be all he's prepared to deal with, but he wanted him to ask, even if that's not exactly the kind of answer he'd probably been looking for.

[ninefox]

"That sounds perfect, baby," Jedao agrees, cupping Fives cheek in one hand and kissing him again, sweet and slow. "I'll get things ready while you get to your last messages," he suggests, kissing Fives one more time before moving off him toward the crates, poking through the haphazard stacks for what they need.