He closes his eyes. His breathing does not become measured.

"It wasn't about deserving it. We were far past that," he says, because it doesn't matter to anyone but him, and Gregor wants more handles on him. Oh, Kujen. His beautiful pale eyes and his hard delicate hands. Jedao's sleek heartless voice in the dark.

"We were supposed to be lost forever. That would have been - right. But I had to protect you."