That wasn't my premise. Obviously not all child soldiers grow up to be the goddamn worst case scenario, but he did. Take it from someone who read his file? He didn't stand a fucking chance.
And you know what? Good for Fives. Good for Alec. Good for everyone who had something come into their life and nudge them off a path that'd kill them and dump them here with oceans of blood on their hands and no fucking clue how to exist in the world if they're not at war with everyone.
And what did you do with your power, back home, Jedao? Hell-- look what you do with your power here.
[Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you, you massive hypocrite.
Rhys isn't doing plans within plans here. He's tentatively confident that Hux isn't planning on any violence in retaliation for this, just like he hadn't been planning any violence against Jedao in the first place, so all this feels like to him, is his inmate being punished for the tiny, difficult inch of progress that they've earned together.
Fives didn't have a nudge, and he didn't have a chance. He'd be dead if he weren't here. I destroyed a nine hundred year old interstellar empire that used ritual public torture as its main power source, but thanks for playing.
You've seen his file, and I haven't. Fine. But you haven't seen any other files. If you think no one in any universe has ever had it worse and come out better, you're deluding yourself.
He's got a chance now, if being general didn't count somehow. If living in a universe where the concept of a republic existed didn't count. Now he's here. If he can take it, fine.
Holy shit, do you have a four second memory or do you only admit to having done fucked up things back home when-- when--
[When it's their last conversation. When they both talked about having had to do terrible things and not knowing if the cost was worth it.]
If doesn't matter if I'm delusional, and it doesn't matter if other people came from worse and turned out better, because I'm not the one using it to justify torturing anyone. And yeah, you could have done worse to him, I fucking bet you could have done worse to him, because you clearly got a lot of practice being one of the good guys back home.
You are a fucking hypocrite, man. If you want to dole out punishment for the awful things people did back home, well, you and me had a lovely conversation about that once, and you know where my cabin is. Don't bother to wait for whatever dumb arbitrary bullshit you'd consider to be a good enough excuse, consider this your permission.
Oh, I'm absolutely a monster. There were no good guys back home. But you asked what I'd done with it to try to score points, and you don't get to, because at least I can say I'm a monster who did something useful.
I hate him for things he's done here. What he did at home just adds ballast to the ship. But if it were just that, I wouldn't hold it against him. Might not be friends with him, but not this.
It wasn't torture, and it wasn't punishment. It was enemy action. Entirely accidentally provoked, apparently, which makes the whole thing a fucking farce, but still. Does the first order not have fucking spies? Does the first order treat spies they catch very gently?
I don't care about permission. Enemy action is the only excuse.
[Speaking of people who don't know how to exist without war.]
[Rhys laughs, and it's a gross, unhappy, giddy sound.]
You should talk to him some time. Tell him what you just told me, then, ask him what he thinks it was like being born into the New Republic, and what he was trying to do back home, and who the good guys are in his world. Seriously, it'll be like a record looping. And yeah, no points for anyone, couldn't agree more.
Enemy Action-- God, right, okay. Yeah, they probably do have a concept of spies. Like, if someone breaks into your cabin and steals sensitive documents, then you go open fire on them, in the stupid, useless hope of getting your documents back. That's probably enemy action taken against a spy as well, right?
I mean, he already got put in the infirmary for that. Lost all of his weapons and allies, and has slowly been coming to terms with the fact that he did something insane and awful and just has to live with that, but I guess I should give him his guns back and tell him he was right after all because it was enemy action, after all.
Well some children had to be both. Might mean when they grow up they have kind of a skewed perception of what age someone becomes a threat to you.
Either way, considering none of you even come from the same universe? Nah. Bullshit. I don't buy that him being a general makes him any more your enemy than me being a major corporate power does.
And yeah, he's terrible at it. He's way out of his depth. I mean, everyone's out of their depth when someone they have no issue with violently attacks them without provocation, but let's be real:
He brought a gun to a knife fight with a teenager and lost. He could have been armed to the teeth, and my money would still be on you. Only then I wouldn't find it so fucking gross.
That isn't what I said. Being a general doesn't make him my enemy, a whole stack of other shit does. Being a general makes him a soldier, and soldiers get engaged as soldiers. As effectively and immediately as possible.
I'd bet on me too. That's no reason to be careless.
...that's why I'd bet on me.
I genuinely struggle to comprehend that he didn't already have an issue with me. My life's work when I leave here is going to be the preemptive unraveling of his beloved empire. I've said it publicly, it's not hard to find.
Well you don't get to handle it differently. He's been on a ship with a conveyor belt of people who want to destroy his universe before he's ever born, and believe it or not, he hasn't hurt any of you. It's just something him and me are working on. So now you've done this, and he will think you're his enemy, so I guess next time you decide you want to hurt him, you can tell me that he definitely knew, right?
And if it's not you, hell, maybe it'll be Fives. Or maybe it'll be Phasma. Or maybe it'll be someone else like you, or Credence, who he doesn't even know hates him because you picked the other side in a war that I'm still trying to get him out of. Maybe he's just going to keep getting murdered by pieces of shit like you--
And I'm just going to keep getting fucking messages, and having my item go off, and having to drag his stupid body to the infirmary.
[If it wasn't already obvious, this is where Rhys's voice just breaks. He's furious. He's furious, and he's hurt, and he's tired, and--
And it's traumatic. Finding your friend, shot up, or terrified, or bleeding to death, over and over, and seeing a future stretch out where it just keeps happening.]
Guess you could have done that differently, but it was his own fault for whatever bullshit reason you come up with next.
[Almost gently. Jedao has....a pang of feeling, remembering everyone's dismissal of Horseriver's dismemberment, because he was an asshole who used mind magic on a warden. Because nobody knew him, because nobody but Jedao and Annie liked him.]
You keep demanding and haggling with my reasons. The fact that I have reasons for choosing to do what I did is not the same as reasons it was all his fault. I thought I made that distinction earlier, but I guess not.
What do you want me to say, Rhys? That I actually didn't have any reasons, that I'm a spiteful prick who hurt him on a whim, totally at random, because I just love hurting people?
I'll say it, if that's what you need. If you want to punish me, walk me down to zero or shoot me in the wrists, I'll let you.
No. That was Credence. No warning from him either, or not one that Hux could understand.
[Rhys's energy is sapped, but while the fight is slowly going out of him, it's not replaced by any warmth.]
Everyone has reasons to hurt him. Everyone is friends with someone on this boat who has a reason to be his enemy, and--
And I don't think you did it at random, or on a whim. But I don't know if you didn't enjoy it. Or if it didn't satisfy you. Or if you can recognise that it was wrong, or if you won't just do it again, or do something worse the next time he does whatever.
What I need is for you to never hurt my inmate again.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Text
And you know what? Good for Fives. Good for Alec. Good for everyone who had something come into their life and nudge them off a path that'd kill them and dump them here with oceans of blood on their hands and no fucking clue how to exist in the world if they're not at war with everyone.
And what did you do with your power, back home, Jedao? Hell-- look what you do with your power here.
[Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you, you massive hypocrite.
Rhys isn't doing plans within plans here. He's tentatively confident that Hux isn't planning on any violence in retaliation for this, just like he hadn't been planning any violence against Jedao in the first place, so all this feels like to him, is his inmate being punished for the tiny, difficult inch of progress that they've earned together.
Because Jedao thinks he's trash.]
Text
You've seen his file, and I haven't. Fine. But you haven't seen any other files. If you think no one in any universe has ever had it worse and come out better, you're deluding yourself.
He's got a chance now, if being general didn't count somehow. If living in a universe where the concept of a republic existed didn't count. Now he's here. If he can take it, fine.
Tell him not to waste it on me.
voice
[When it's their last conversation. When they both talked about having had to do terrible things and not knowing if the cost was worth it.]
If doesn't matter if I'm delusional, and it doesn't matter if other people came from worse and turned out better, because I'm not the one using it to justify torturing anyone. And yeah, you could have done worse to him, I fucking bet you could have done worse to him, because you clearly got a lot of practice being one of the good guys back home.
You are a fucking hypocrite, man. If you want to dole out punishment for the awful things people did back home, well, you and me had a lovely conversation about that once, and you know where my cabin is. Don't bother to wait for whatever dumb arbitrary bullshit you'd consider to be a good enough excuse, consider this your permission.
Re: voice
I hate him for things he's done here. What he did at home just adds ballast to the ship. But if it were just that, I wouldn't hold it against him. Might not be friends with him, but not this.
It wasn't torture, and it wasn't punishment. It was enemy action. Entirely accidentally provoked, apparently, which makes the whole thing a fucking farce, but still. Does the first order not have fucking spies? Does the first order treat spies they catch very gently?
I don't care about permission. Enemy action is the only excuse.
[Speaking of people who don't know how to exist without war.]
voice
You should talk to him some time. Tell him what you just told me, then, ask him what he thinks it was like being born into the New Republic, and what he was trying to do back home, and who the good guys are in his world. Seriously, it'll be like a record looping. And yeah, no points for anyone, couldn't agree more.
Enemy Action-- God, right, okay. Yeah, they probably do have a concept of spies. Like, if someone breaks into your cabin and steals sensitive documents, then you go open fire on them, in the stupid, useless hope of getting your documents back. That's probably enemy action taken against a spy as well, right?
I mean, he already got put in the infirmary for that. Lost all of his weapons and allies, and has slowly been coming to terms with the fact that he did something insane and awful and just has to live with that, but I guess I should give him his guns back and tell him he was right after all because it was enemy action, after all.
voice
One of these is a legitimate enemy.
Also your grasp of counter-espionage is terrible, but apparently so is his, so whatever.
voice
Either way, considering none of you even come from the same universe? Nah. Bullshit. I don't buy that him being a general makes him any more your enemy than me being a major corporate power does.
And yeah, he's terrible at it. He's way out of his depth. I mean, everyone's out of their depth when someone they have no issue with violently attacks them without provocation, but let's be real:
He brought a gun to a knife fight with a teenager and lost. He could have been armed to the teeth, and my money would still be on you. Only then I wouldn't find it so fucking gross.
voice
I'd bet on me too. That's no reason to be careless.
...that's why I'd bet on me.
I genuinely struggle to comprehend that he didn't already have an issue with me. My life's work when I leave here is going to be the preemptive unraveling of his beloved empire. I've said it publicly, it's not hard to find.
If I'd known, I'd have handled it differently.
voice
Well you don't get to handle it differently. He's been on a ship with a conveyor belt of people who want to destroy his universe before he's ever born, and believe it or not, he hasn't hurt any of you. It's just something him and me are working on. So now you've done this, and he will think you're his enemy, so I guess next time you decide you want to hurt him, you can tell me that he definitely knew, right?
And if it's not you, hell, maybe it'll be Fives. Or maybe it'll be Phasma. Or maybe it'll be someone else like you, or Credence, who he doesn't even know hates him because you picked the other side in a war that I'm still trying to get him out of. Maybe he's just going to keep getting murdered by pieces of shit like you--
And I'm just going to keep getting fucking messages, and having my item go off, and having to drag his stupid body to the infirmary.
[If it wasn't already obvious, this is where Rhys's voice just breaks. He's furious. He's furious, and he's hurt, and he's tired, and--
And it's traumatic. Finding your friend, shot up, or terrified, or bleeding to death, over and over, and seeing a future stretch out where it just keeps happening.]
Guess you could have done that differently, but it was his own fault for whatever bullshit reason you come up with next.
voice
[Almost gently. Jedao has....a pang of feeling, remembering everyone's dismissal of Horseriver's dismemberment, because he was an asshole who used mind magic on a warden. Because nobody knew him, because nobody but Jedao and Annie liked him.]
You keep demanding and haggling with my reasons. The fact that I have reasons for choosing to do what I did is not the same as reasons it was all his fault. I thought I made that distinction earlier, but I guess not.
What do you want me to say, Rhys? That I actually didn't have any reasons, that I'm a spiteful prick who hurt him on a whim, totally at random, because I just love hurting people?
I'll say it, if that's what you need. If you want to punish me, walk me down to zero or shoot me in the wrists, I'll let you.
voice
[Rhys's energy is sapped, but while the fight is slowly going out of him, it's not replaced by any warmth.]
Everyone has reasons to hurt him. Everyone is friends with someone on this boat who has a reason to be his enemy, and--
And I don't think you did it at random, or on a whim. But I don't know if you didn't enjoy it. Or if it didn't satisfy you. Or if you can recognise that it was wrong, or if you won't just do it again, or do something worse the next time he does whatever.
What I need is for you to never hurt my inmate again.
voice
If he doesn't attack me, or hurt other people to get to me, then I will not hurt him again. I told you that, and it's still true.
I promise I'll warn him next time. If I'm misinterpreting again, he can correct me.
Re: voice
[At this point you've basically said everything he needed to hear, Jedao. He just hasn't forgiven you.]
And that's probably the best I'm going to get out of this, so I'll take it. Later.