"I do need you," he concedes, low and grave and absolutely honest. He knows he can't do what Jedao's planning on his own, he doesn't have the experience or the training or the... the imagination for it. Yet. He also knows he's learning with every minute he spends in Jedao's company, listening to his plans and theories, helping with his research. He's smart, and he's fast, and his memory is better than most mongrels can ever dream of. He believes he can learn what he needs if he must, if he has time... but he doesn't have to.
"But if you were the kind of man who couldn't take no, who could think that... that my body was yours in payment for your help-" He pauses, sliding his hand up into Jedao's hair and using the grip to urge him to lift his head, to meet his eyes. Because he needs to know that he hears and understands every word of this. "I'd still take it, and I'd choose to pay the price." And he honestly wouldn't find it hard to bear, even if he didn't want Jedao or anything he might want to do to him. Partially because it would be worth any price for a chance at freedom for his brothers and partially because he just doesn't have that kind of association with sex. It's just another thing he can do with his body, or have done to it. "And then I'd pick your brain for every last thing you could teach me... and walk away and leave you here. And if you managed to graduate, somehow-" Because he doesn't want to believe that a man like that could- "And follow me home, I'd kill you myself before I'd ever let you near my brothers." Because there's a difference between a price he's willing to pay himself and one he's willing to inflict on those he loves and is responsible for.
Fives lets that sink in for just a moment, serious and intent, then continues, "But you're not that kind of man, and I've never for a moment thought that your help was... was contingent on anything. I didn't ask you to help me, Jed'ika, you asked me who you'd need to kill to save them." He has absolutely no doubts or fears regarding Jedao's motives in this. "And if I ever did... if you ever wanted me, and I took complete leave of my kriffing senses and wasn't interested, I know that all I'd have to do is tell you no."
He tips his head down so he can press their foreheads together, and when he tries to laugh it comes out too quiet, ragged and sad and a little broken. Much like his voice when he speaks again. "Even if I really can't imagine ever wanting to say no.
It's not just that I trust you, Jed'ika. I trust you with... with our brothers, ori'vod."
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"But if you were the kind of man who couldn't take no, who could think that... that my body was yours in payment for your help-" He pauses, sliding his hand up into Jedao's hair and using the grip to urge him to lift his head, to meet his eyes. Because he needs to know that he hears and understands every word of this. "I'd still take it, and I'd choose to pay the price." And he honestly wouldn't find it hard to bear, even if he didn't want Jedao or anything he might want to do to him. Partially because it would be worth any price for a chance at freedom for his brothers and partially because he just doesn't have that kind of association with sex. It's just another thing he can do with his body, or have done to it. "And then I'd pick your brain for every last thing you could teach me... and walk away and leave you here. And if you managed to graduate, somehow-" Because he doesn't want to believe that a man like that could- "And follow me home, I'd kill you myself before I'd ever let you near my brothers." Because there's a difference between a price he's willing to pay himself and one he's willing to inflict on those he loves and is responsible for.
Fives lets that sink in for just a moment, serious and intent, then continues, "But you're not that kind of man, and I've never for a moment thought that your help was... was contingent on anything. I didn't ask you to help me, Jed'ika, you asked me who you'd need to kill to save them." He has absolutely no doubts or fears regarding Jedao's motives in this. "And if I ever did... if you ever wanted me, and I took complete leave of my kriffing senses and wasn't interested, I know that all I'd have to do is tell you no."
He tips his head down so he can press their foreheads together, and when he tries to laugh it comes out too quiet, ragged and sad and a little broken. Much like his voice when he speaks again. "Even if I really can't imagine ever wanting to say no.
It's not just that I trust you, Jed'ika. I trust you with... with our brothers, ori'vod."