"I spend my whole stupid life putting myself into trouble, playing chicken with the idea that someone's going to notice enough to heave me out by the scruff."

He says, with a rueful sigh tickling against his ear.

"Infatuated with brilliant boys, fantasizing about tying myself to railroad tracks just in their earshot. If you ever want to make me smile, pretend-rescue me. It doesn't even have to be from anything, just come up to me and say you're rescuing me and pull me away from what I'm doing by the wrist, and I'll be-"

Yours for life, he almost says, except he won't quite, will he?

"-the happiest I've ever been."