"I'm a bastard, but I'm fine," Jedao growls, frustrated with himself, with the sheer depth of how little he wants to explain and knowing Fives deserves better than surprises and secrets about his own body, especially with how little control of it he's been given in his life. "It's me, it's my fault, I just -" I wish you could touch me too, he thinks, even though he knows Fives meant it innocently, knows how often and how easy touch is a simple comfort between them, even if Fives has offered more before.